The Plantation Project

4.

Caleb

My brain failed me as I stepped out of the car. Seeing my mother after all these years had left my mind in emotional turmoil. They had wronged me, they had thrown their only son out but they were still the people who gave birth to me.

Walking towards my mother while keeping a blank face was definitely one of the hardest things I have had to do in life. A thousand memories of running towards her when I was young flooded my mind and threatened to show on my face.

She smiled at me and I honestly thought I was hallucinating. It was a genuine warm smile, not formal or perfunctory.

"Welcome home son," she whispered while abruptly pulling me into a hug. For a woman of around sixty, she was surprisingly strong.

Tears pricked at my eyes as I hugged her back. Not even in my wildest dreams had I even imagined that I would be able to hug my mother again. It felt surreal and unbelievably comforting.

She released me from her embrace and kissed my cheek. "Take his luggage inside Garry. And would you be so kind as to check on Alice? I told her to set the table for lunch. I am sure Cal is hungry after his long flight."

"Yes ma'am," Garry said and hurried to carry my suitcase inside. I tried to stop him, I could very well carry my own luggage but he brushed me off.

Mother laughed at my failed attempts. "I see you have forgotten how it is here. Garry won't let you carry your bags yourself as long as he lives. Things are different here than your big cities."

I grimaced.

"Come now," she said and pulled me into the living room. "Your father will be down for lunch soon. You better wash up real quick. I hope you remember where your room is?"

I gave her an incredulous look. "Yes mom. I don't have amnesia."

She laughed again and it warmed my heart to see her happy. The last I had seen her was when she had tears in her eyes and disappointment all over her face.

My room was on the top floor, separate from the rest of the house, something that I was very grateful for. I had jerked off to naked men on my screen a countless times without anybody hearing me. The disadvantage was that the room became a furnace in the summer.

As I opened the door, I expected to see a room different than what it had been. To my surprise, everything was as it was. It was not dusty or mouldy which meant that it was regularly cleaned and taken care off. I had expected my parents to cleanse my room or burn it down to get rid of the gayness. Looks like they had done the opposite.

I flopped down on the bed and sighed. The journey had for sure taken it's toll on me.

My room had one big window behind the bed. It looked out onto our fields. There was a fence where they ended and the Belmont plantation started. Their estate stood tall in all its majestic glory with tall columns and wide verandahs. It looked even newer than what I remembered.

Being here in this room brought back so many memories. Most were bad but there were some good ones in between. I had spent a thousand sleepless nights thinking about my sexuality and future on this very bed. The good ones were mostly with the few friends I had.

Ashley was a part of many memories too. Since we were immediate neighbours, I saw him almost everyday for many years. We attended the same high school. He was one of the very few people I could tolerate. He did not have the same holier than thou stiff attitude like most here. He was fun and surprisingly witty. All our conversations ended with me laughing my ass off.

He was also a man of his word who did not give a shit about what others thought about him. When I came out as gay, half the school shunned me immediately. People left Bible's and threats in my locker, spray painted faggot on it, pushed me, punched me and so many other things.