❝ sometimes love isn't exactly
what we think it's going
to be. ❞
hearts & other breakable things
by cassidy smith
[ started: 2019 - 2021 ]
[ edited 2021 ]
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januarie robinson - september 28, 2018 -
"HEY," LUCAS TURNED AND SMILED when I walked into box office. He sat in a deep green director's chair with a book in his lap. I held a bleach bucket in one hand and a rag in the other. I refused to look at him. I knew what my face looked like today and he wasn't the one causing it.
He didn't deserve the way I would have looked at him.
"Hey," I winced at the sound of my own voice. It laid flat and weighted heavily in the air the moment it left my lips. The atmosphere changed in a matter of seconds. Like I'd sucked all the warmth and happiness from the room.
"Whoa," he shot from his seat, but then simply stood there as if he couldn't make up his mind on what to do. Glancing between me and the bucket, he opened his mouth to speak, but shut it just as fast.
I set down the bucket and dunked my rag in the water without another word. Moving around the room, I scrubbed everything I could get my hands on. When I couldn't reach anything else I grabbed the step ladder and started again.
"Do you want to, um," he spoke gently as if not to startle me, "talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?"
"No," I snapped. After cleaning every surface I could, I grabbed the window cleaner and started on those. Halfway through the second window, I cracked under the pressure of the air. I could feel the weight of his gaze on my back, "I'm just mad."
Standing on the counter, I reached up to the top seal, but stopped short and my arms dropped to my side.
"I'm pissed actually," my voice broke and I cursed at myself, "I, ah—I clean when I'm upset. It gives me something to do with my hands rather than being stuck in my own head."
I pulled myself back to the task at hand, but that didn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. This wasn't what I needed right now.
Once the inside was finished, I grabbed the ladder and went outside to do the other side of the glass. The sun was hot on my back, but I welcomed it. A few tears slipped from my eyes, but I didn't stop; not even when a young raven-haired girl left with a group of friends.
I checked over each window and returned inside. The air conditioning hit me like a frate train. George and I shared a look when I stopped short of the door and simply stared at it for a moment longer than I should have.
Stepping into box office, I leaned the ladder back against the wall, "I'm going to get the vacuum. I'll be right back."
"Probably not the best thing to say right now, but we should get you made more often. This place looks amazing." He chuckled to himself. I appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood.
