Chapter TwentySix: ...Old Rancors

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It's the fourth day here in Shady Belle, the first that I don't have to go to Saint Denis. I missed spending a little time in camp, cooking with Mr. Pearson, playing with Jack. I also missed spending some time alone, at peace.

That's exactly what I do. I go far from camp, far from the house, far from everything and everybody, looking for a quiet little spot under a tree with a view on the Lannahechee river. Here the soil is softer, I'm sure because of the swamps, the air is wetter and the silence is broken only by the frogs jumping in and out of the water.

I take out my gun and start cleaning it, an operation I haven't done for a while, and it's perfectly visible. The revolver is stained and it needs a little oil. Until some months ago, it would have been unthinkable for me to find my father's gun in these conditions. But now, I don't know why, but I can't give it more importance than it needs: it's a gun, which I really care about, that's true, but just a gun anyway.

It's some steps behind me that bring me back to reality and remind me of where I am. Even though I'm curious to know who is disturbing me, I don't turn around, but wait for him or her to announce themselves.

The unknown figure doesn't talk, just keeps walking with a slow pace until reaches my side and sits down next to me. Only now I turn and smile to him.

"Am I disturbing you?" asks Charles.

Yes, I came here for a reason, which is being alone. Of course you are disturbing me. But it's Charles, can I say something like this to him? No, never. So, I simply shake my head and smile again.

"Arthur and Trelawny?" I ask.

"They're gone."
"Let's hope this ferry job turns out better than the last one."

He grunts as an answer and I look at his profile. I know he is as much worried as I am, but he is so good at hiding his emotions. Really the opposite of me.

"How was the party at the mayor's house?"

I raise my eyebrows at the unexpected question. Why is he asking me about it now? It's been days ago.

"It wasn't bad, but it's not the kind of environment that I like. I prefer spending my time in simpler places, with simpler people" I say with another smile. I hope he gets the allusion to him.

He grunts again and nods slowly. No, I don't think he got it. I'd like to tell him more about that night, the people, the dresses, the fireworks, but none of it would be interesting to him. He doesn't seem to care about these things. But maybe I have something that can actually interest him.

"At the party we met a man, Mr. Miller" I say, and when he looks at me I know I have his attention.

"He talked about a tribe of natives who have a problem. It has to do with their lands and the government. The next day, Arthur and I met them. They really look like good people and so we thought of helping them."

"Why are you telling me?"

I stare at him and my heart sinks. Is he annoyed? Is he angry? Maybe he doesn't want me to talk about Indians? Maybe he isn't interested?

"I don't know, I guess... just to talk" I mumble looking down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't..."
"Why you apologize?" he asks.

"I don't know...I....you're confusing me" I chuckle.

"Am I?"

We stare at each other again, and for a moment I believe I can actually see the electricity between us. All my instincts tell me to do what I've been wanting to do for a time now: kiss him. But just in the end, as always, I look away and push the thought far from my mind.

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