The Heart Exchange

7

A short one😌

"Why did you let yourself get pregnant?."

What the jahannam!

I'm pretty sure my mouth has dropped to the floor now. I raised a brow. "Excuse me?"

Is he for real?

"Ban gane why did I let myself get pregnant ba! Please enlighten me, Hameed." I said, taking a seat on the sofa, annoyed.

He palmed his face and sighed. "It's all my fault." He whispers to himself. He sat down on the couch behind him, his face buried in his palms.

Of course it's your fault, genius.

"I never should have let that happen." He said, his face still buried in his palms. "This wasn't meant to be, ya Allah. What have I done?"

I sighed. "Why are you making it sound so bad? It's only a baby, Hameed"

He looked at me with those dark orbs. "I know exactly what it is Aisha, no need for the reminder." He spat venomously.

"What do you want me to do huh? It's not like I planned all this you know? I also have a life and bringing a child into it this soon wasn't part of my plan. It's Allah's will. And please at least try and understand that this isn't on me alone"

We sat there in silence, none of us spoke.

"I know you must hate me right now but at least try and love the baby, please." I said in a low voice.

He looked up. "Why are crying again?"

I didn't even know I was crying. Stupid hormones. I ignored him.

"You think I don't feel bad for getting pregnant when I know you and I's relationship is not straight, when I know we don't even act like married couple. When I know this marriage is just somehow by name for you, I am also hurt Hameed. I did not want this marriage, I only did it to make my father happy, you have no idea what being stuck in a loveless marriage feels like. I always dreamed of my first marriage being of love and adoration but Allah says otherwise. So please, I do not want to raise a child knowing the father hates me" I finished with a hiccup.

Hameed sighed. "I don't hate you Aisha, Ya Allah, I don't hate you. I am just scared, I'm scared of what happened to Amal because of childbirth."

"Please Hameed, Don't make me go through this alone." I sobbed.

He stood up and came to me, he sat down next to me on the couch. What he did next surprised me. He circle his arms around me and moved me closer to his body. I quietly placed my head on his shoulder and sobbed.

"I promise you won't go through it alone, I'll be here, inshallah."

I sniffed. "Thank you."

He nodded. "Your body is so hot." He said touching my forehead with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I don't feel good" I said with a croaky voice.

"What time are you supposed to take your drugs?"

"At 10pm" I replied him and he nodded.

We sat there a bit longer before he excused himself to go to the mosque for isha prayer. I lazily walked to my room and lay down.

"Ya Allah give me the strength to go through this"

I stood up, went to the bathroom and performed my wudhu, came out and prayed isha.