Hold Me While You Wait

7|set your dreams where nobody hides

set your dreams where nobody hides

Oh to see without my eyes

The first time that you kissed me

Boundless by the time I cried

I built your walls around me

White noise what an awful sound

Fumbling by Rogue River

Feel my feet above the ground

Hand of God deliver me

"Elis?"

Oh oh woe oh whoa is me

"Elis!"

The first time that you'd touched me

"Elisabetha!"

Oh will wonders ever cease

Mrs Collins opened Elis's door and stopped the record player. Elis was sprawled on the wooden floor with the closed case next to her, looking up at the ceiling with a still gaze.

"Elis," she closed the door and crouched down next to her daughter. "I've been calling you for ages."

"Blessed be the mystery of love."

"Elis..."

"Mystery of love...Sufjan Stevens. Pure gold. Found it in the old discs in the living room," she took another drag from the cigarette in between her fingers, sitting up and staring out of the open window.

Mrs Collins sighed, her hand reaching out to Elis's shoulder. "You okay?" She asked, and continued when no answer came from her daughter. "How was the bonfire last night?"

Elis shrugged, Gray's picture appearing in her head as she imagioned sitting next to her, taking her smaller hand in hers and holding her perfect gaze.

"Did you meet any new people? Or saw your old friends?"

"No," the curly haired girl replied, taking another drag. "Just Gray."

"You were with Gray the entire night?"

"I saw her cousin too. Arrogant."

Mrs Collins was taken aback. "Did he say anything?"

"Something. Well, maybe I received it wrongly."

"What did he say?"

Elis chuckled, turning her head to look at her mom. "Nothing," she settled, looking out the window again. "He said nothing."

"It's okay," her mother breathed, "whenever you wanna talk...about anything at all."

Elis put the smoke off, discarding it in the ash tray on the floor. And then she circled her arms around her mother's shoulders, longing for an embrace.

"I tried. I'm still trying...but a second spent longer in this house feels like losing Bryson all over again."

Mrs Collins held her close, wishing nothing but for the pain and resentment to go away. She wanted for Elis to be happy and to find her light. Mrs Collins longed for anything, anything other than feeling like she was losing Elis too.

"I know. But there's no such thing as pain that never ceases," she whispered, resting her chin on top of Elis's head. "It will go away soon."

Elis pulled away, looking out the window again.

"How can it?" Her voice was small, sounding entirely hopeless. She was desperate for some sense of comfort, a feeling of closure.

"Friendship," Mrs Collins replied. "Love. Comfort. Closeness," each of her words felt like a dagger to Elis's chest. "Soon you'll realize that there's not much to give than to open your heart, visualizing the future and knowing who you wanna be," she held Elis's cold hand in hers, brushing the back of it in soothing caresses.

"Who do you want to be?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does," Mrs Collins stood up, walking over to the door. "Especially to the one who's going to take care of your heart one day."

The older woman played the record player she switched off when she walked in, and closed Elis's door, leaving her alone in the room.

Blessed be the mystery of love