Chequered Scarfs and Detective hats.

xxv

Shuichi walked into his dorm room, exhausted from the days antics. He was about to throw himself onto his bed before he saw a piece of paper on his desk.

"Huh?" Shuichi mumbled as he picked up the note and read it.

Dear Shumai,

If you're reading this then that means Kaito did kill me. Man that sucks.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you not to blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right. You were the best boyfriend I could've ever asked for. You were all I ever asked for.

You see, I always wanted to have somebody to love. I always wanted someone to call my beloved, to rule the world with me, to be mine.

When I first saw you, I knew you were special. There was something about you that made me want to get to know you.

The emo detective, the kid with the hat that never looked at people properly, the astronaut's sidekick, the protagonist of this crazy story.

And you were mine.

My beloved, my Shumai, my Saihara-chan, my Shuichi~baby.

I'm sorry it had to end this way. I wanted to conquer the world with you, I wanted to pull stupid pranks on people with you. I wanted you to meet D.I.C.E.

But the memories we had are amazing. Playing DDR to Britney Spears, playing the zombie game where you couldn't believe you beat me. Our teddies we won. Me waking you up at two in the morning and you challenging me to make you fall for me. The boring ass movie we watched, well I didn't really watch it, but anyway. You chasing me for your hat back. The whole handcuffs situation. The time we spent in each other's labs, us spending time with Maki in her lab. Me swinging from the vine like Tarzan at lunch. Us kissing, that happened a lot. You're a good kisser. Not as good as me though~

I love you. I really do. I can't explain how much I love you because I can't find the right words. But you were everything I've ever wanted. You were the batman to my joker, the hero to my villain. You were the one who could track down the villain on the run.

You were also the person that wanted to get to know the real me.

I said that everyone hates me because I wanted it to be that way. I said that the right person will come along and want to know the real me instead of the facade I hold up.

That was you.

You were the right person.

You're the love of my life.

Technically the only love in my life but we'll ignore that.

It was a pain in my ass keeping it a secret for so long. Seeing you being happy, watching from afar, knowing that I wasn't the reason for your happiness.

That was, until one day, you decided to go to the arcade. I'm so glad that you did.

You're the best person I've ever met Shuichi. I'm so sorry you're in pain because of me.

I had a feeling I wasn't going to make it back to you, that's why I made sure to tell you how much I loved you.

I didn't want to die. I begged him not to. I didn't want to lose you, I didn't want you to lose me.

I'm so sorry. I wish I could take the pain away.

Most people would tell you to move on, to try and forget about me. I don't want you to be in pain, so I would tell you that too.

But I don't want you to forget about me.

I, Kokichi Ouma, am asking you not to forget about me.

I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to die. I don't want to lose.

I hate losing, more than I hate pigs feet.

And I lost.

But I still won the jackpot

because I had you.

Shuichi Saihara, you are the most amazing person on the planet. I'm so proud of you. I know that you're going to live the best life, and you'll be happy with where you've gone. I wish I could be there with you.

If there's an afterlife then I'll see you there. I'll probably be chilling in Hell or something, make sure you pay me a visit sometime will ya?

I'll always be with you Shuichi. If I'm a ghost I'll probably make a book fall on your head or something, that sounds like fun.

Although I can't physically be there, I'm sure I'll find a way to watch over you and make sure you're doing okay.

I'm sorry it ended this way, I wish it could've been different.

But I'm not sorry for loving you Shuichi.

Loving you was the best thing I've ever done.

Shuichi Saihara, you are the love of my life. I love you with every essence of my being. I love you more than I love panta, and that's a lot.

I love you, please never forget that.

Please don't forget about me.

-Kokichi Ouma

Shuichi stared at the note for a while, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you Kokichi." Shuichi said as he held the scarf to his chest. The pain was too much, he didn't want to carry on. He didn't see the point in carrying on.

But Kokichi wanted him to.

And Shuichi was going to carry on for him, no matter how hard it was. Kokichi wouldn't want him to hide away and cry and give up. Kokichi would want him to carry on. Shuichi laid on his bed cuddling his teddy that Kokichi won him and Kokichi's scarf. Slowly, he fell to sleep and his dreams were consumed by Kokichi. It was going to be hard, but Shuichi was going to get through this.

He had all his friends to help him.

He had to make Kokichi proud. It was the least he could do.

Because he loved him.