Divine Charity

Chapter Ten: Hope

Hope

How Fiadn convinced Khamuel to let her take the aptitudes test early, Lena wouldn't question. Fiadn had a knack for making Khamuel see wisdom. The day her aptitude results arrived, she ran straight to Khamuel and dragged him into Fiadn's office to hear the results. Her stomach was in knots, but as she listened to Fiadn drone on, a wide smile spread across her face. Her aptitude results proved Lena was suited to the warrior class. She also held an abundance of talent for offensive flight, though the Ka'al called that type of aerial fighting by some fancy name she couldn't yet pronounce. A bounce was in her step over the knowledge that soon enough they would teach her how to maneuver the different crafts aboard Charity.

No one understood her joke when she said, "You should see what I can do with a Kiowa. I'm like Maverick, but with boobs!"

All she had to do was improve her proficiency in the language. She was only comfortable enough to speak basic sentences and often switched between Ka'al and English mid thought when she was unsure of herself.

Kraven had been livid, leaving the room without a word to either Fiadn or herself.

Too bad! He was going to have to accept her as she was. Lena was still her own person and was determined to remain true to herself. That meant busting her ass to be at the top of her game. She was competitive and driven. That wouldn't change just because she was now in alien territory, dating an alien king.

She tried several times throughout the day to get him to speak to her through telepathy, but he closed his mind off to her. Khamuel made it clear he did not want her to be assigned to a unit with the Verserk, but Fiadn did what he knew needed doing.

Lena was assigned to a unit, but to placate Khamuel, Fiadn kept her directly under his charge, making Lena his second. It was a simple choice. She already had military experience, knew how to lead soldiers, and didn't need babysitting. Yet, the position was only temporary until Lena could be given a training slot with the next group of verserka'al. Shortly after that, she would become a pilot.

Despite getting her way, Lena was annoyed with Khamuel. He had to know that by closing her out of his thoughts again, he was hurting her. It made her feel abandoned, and that was the worst. She had never been so reliant on anyone. The family she had been born into meant Lena understood from a young age all she had was herself. She'd stayed on Charity all those weeks ago, hoping things would be different.

It was different. Gala, Pnina, and Fiadn all worked to make her feel secure. Unlike her mother. Lena took a deep breath to stem the vivid memories crowding in on her as they always did when her moods soured. She wouldn't allow herself to succumb to this now. Her girls needed dinner and to be put to bed so she could wake up and get her ass kicked again in the morning.

She choked back a sob and touched a finger to her scar. It was too late. Her mother was firmly in her head and she couldn't escape the voice. Stupid girl. Whore. Silly little slut. Devil's spawn. Rotten. Rotten. Rotten...

Lena set her mind to be pleasant for as long as it took to get her girls home and to bed. She would deal with the night as she usually did; silently staring up at the ceiling until daybreak wondering if everyone would be better off without her.

Lena was welcomed into Gala's home with warmth and teasing and girlish giggles. Gala seemed to sense something was wrong and sent Lena a discerning look, but Lena focused on her girls. 

That night, Khamuel came later than usual, making it difficult for Lena to relax, wondering if he would come at all. When the door to the grant swung open without warning, her heavy heart had her on the verge of tears. She took a moment to compose herself before turning to face him. His big body protected her from a gust of cold air from the habitat's weather system when he stepped into the room, and his mouth was on hers before she had a chance to greet him. Slowly, he pulled away and studied her expression. "Why such sadness, Lena? What has happened?"