20. Light in the Darkness

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We ride until nightfall. The uphill treks prove to be the worst, but after the initial mountain, rolling hills seem like a joke. My calves and thighs burn from pedaling; sweat glues my blonde hair to my neck and forehead. When I try to wipe it away, ash smears across my skin.

When Stephen finally announces we should stop, Isaac jumps off his bike so fast that he trips and has to catch himself on me to keep from face planting.

"We'll guard in pairs and take turns," Stephen says as Isaac flops out in the grass. "Clare and I'll go first. Y'all get some sleep."

Apparently, neither of us disagree with that plan. I'm so tired that I would probably fall asleep while guarding.

"Did anyone bring any sleeping gear?" Isaac asks halfway through a yawn.

Stephen shrugs. "Look through the bags and see what you find."

Isaac turns to Clare and taps her on the shoulder. She looks up with a smile and hands him her bag. Does she read lips or minds? Isaac signs what I know means "thank you," and we start to spread the items out on the ground.

So far, we have a blanket, a change of clothes for Clare, a jacket, three granola bars, a pack of matches, one canteen of water, and a folded picture of Jackson and a woman. No sleeping bags, no kindling, nothing.

Already, the temperature is dropping. I tug my jacket tighter around me, and Isaac hands Clare hers.

"Anyone know how to build a fire?" I ask, shivering. "We'll freeze before we make it to Compound 4."

Everyone just looks at one another.

"I can." Isaac pushes up off the grass and heads to the line of trees.

"Where did you learn that?" I ask. He smirks over his shoulder at me.

"I slept outside most of my life, Jay. I definitely needed to know how to keep warm."

I grimace. Of course he did. I saw the shape of the tent he slept in. Unless Hartley's handing out top-quality sleeping bags, he had to get cold.

"Should someone go with him?" I ask as his back disappears into the tree line. Clare nods and stands to follow him. "Hey, Stephen." He looks down at me. "Can Clare read lips?"

"Yeah, but it ain't as easy as sign language."

Makes sense. My stomach lets out a horrific growl, and I clamp a hand over it. Those three granola bars won't be enough for all four of us. No matter how starved I feel, I'm going to have to get over it.

"We were gonna leave tomorrow," Stephen says when he catches me eyeing the food. I look up at him. "Never could quite agree on whether or not to send you back. Quite a few people said there was no point in trying to save everyone when we should be worrying about ourselves first. Ollie reminded us how selfish that was, but some people aren't easily swayed.

"But just this morning, the majority voted to leave tomorrow. We were making a list of the supplies you would need and who all to send when Ollie took a break. That's when y'all saw the trucks. The crap hit the fan after that.

"I wasn't supposed to come. Mandy, Justin, and Clare volunteered. I was staying with Jackson."

He speaks with remorse and loss. There's a touch of anger there, too, but it isn't aimed at me. The chances of us getting back to the Alma are slim. It isn't his fault that Ollie chose Mandy to stay behind instead of him, that Hartley blew up his home, that I showed up out of the blue and ruined everything. Why does he have to be punished when nothing is his fault? It isn't fair.

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