Within The Bonds

38: Dilemma

There is a tsunami of heterogenous emotions swirling inside me, but hunger dominated them all. Clutching my stomach in a tight grip with my arms I flop flat on my bed as my body whines at the lack of food.

Caught in a dilemma I refuse to let the rational part of my brain convince myself to go down for dinner. My jumbled hormones also play a major role in intensifying my stubbornness, it doesn't help that all of my emotions clash together like angry waves in the ocean.

My phone buzzes to life demanding my attention, a nervous smile curves my lips at the sight of my lit-up screen. 'I didn't think this through!'. Hesitantly I lift my phone and bring it closer to my face just to make sure I didn't misread the text.

'How stupid could I be!'

But it's too late to think about that now, I have already made my bed and now I will have to lay in it. Caught between anger and hurt, I didn't take the time to think about my idea though. All I can do now is hope that things don't get out of hand.

"Querida open the door, at least come down for dinner!" I hear Noah's voice yell, just loud enough that it will travel through the thick mahogany door.

I huff stubbornly and refuse to even respond to him, but my stomach growls in objection to my attitude and lack of food. My hunger I have a temporary solution to, but my stubbornness? I don't think anyone in the world has a solution to that.

Jumping out of bed I scurry towards the secret compartment in my closet where I stashed away my entire supply of snacks and candy, I had brought during my trip to the mall.

Moving the floorboard to revile a secret compartment in the floor, I grabbed a packet of salted chips and seal it again, but before I do my eyes land on the shining silver box at the bottom of the section.

My mum's face immediately flashes in front of my eyes and out of nowhere tears gather in my eyes. 'If she was still alive none of this would be happening'.

Taking the box out carefully, I visually examine it a thousand unasked and unanswered question resurfacing in my mind. Grabbing the jewelry box in one hand and the packet of chips in the other I proceed back into the comfort of my room.

Flopping on my bed I carefully place the box in the middle of the bed. I busy myself in munching on my chips—in hopes of shutting my stomach up—while my eyes remain hooked on the shine silver jewelry box.

The jiggling of my doorknobs disturbs my concentration and snaps me out of my trance. The doorknob continues to jiggle, but the door doesn't barge all thanks to the chair acting as a double locking system.

"Can't I just fucking break the door open?!" Jack's voice is laced with exasperation, antagonism, and a hint of concern and guilt?

'Well they should feel guilty'

I make my way towards the wall adjacent to the door, sliding down I bring my knees to my chest, I continue to eat while eavesdropping on their ongoing and seemingly heated conversation.

"Get your anger under control Jack. We need to give her some space, all this must be hard on her." I identify Jason's voice suggests.

"Get my fucking anger under control?!" Jack scoffs. "This is all your fault-" Is all I heard him say after which the sound of something breaking invades my ears, startling me half to death.

'What the heck is happening out there?'

'But then again ignorance is bliss'

I look down at the packet in my hands only to find it empty, groaning in annoyance I get up from my place, discarding the empty packet in the bin I proceed back to my bed.