WANTED: Itachi Uchiha

Yonjuuhachi

As a child, Itachi wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment with Shisui. It didn't matter if they were training or tending to their wounds from said training. Itachi simply wanted to be close to him. To be with him.

There were even times he wanted to be him.

Shisui was everything Itachi aspired to be. He was talented but not egotistical. He was kind but not gullible. And mostly, he was strong but he was just.

Itachi valued this quality above all.

For all his power and strength, Shisui was the definition of humility and integrity. Regardless of the horrors he had witnessed as well as committed, Shisui never lost his kindness. Throughout his life Itachi tried to adopt these traits, even when on a mission. Despite the blood he would undoubtedly spill, Itachi always made sure to treat his opponents with dignity and respect, regardless of whether or not they deserved it or reciprocated the notion.

He did not want to become a monster.

At times he wanted to lose his humanity, to be unfeeling and impervious to human sentiment. But he did not wish for the void to consume him. It was paradoxical if anything. He wanted to remain human but allow himself to feel nothing.

He was a walking oxymoron.

And he was once again conflicted.

Itachi had long slipped out of bed, unable to tame his wild thoughts. Reina was out cold, she still recuperating from her stint in hospital. He knew she would listen to his ramblings, even if they didn't make sense. She was kind - just like Shisui. It was one of the reasons he loved her.

The Hitori household was warm despite its emptiness. Despite the lack of hustle and hum of inhabitants, the house was very much alive. Family photos including ones of Tomo and Hidekazu on their wedding day and Reina's first day at the academy hung along the walls; everywhere he looked there were smiling faces, so unlike the sombre photos his father took.

He hoped things would be different the next time he saw his parents. He hated the thought of him disappointing them, but something needed to change. He could no longer answer blindly to the whims of the clan or village. It was killing him. It had killed him. Would he have been content if Sasuke and Reina hadn't followed him? Would he be at peace in Yomi, with Shisui?

Or would he have had eternity to wallow in the misery of his premature departure?

"You look like shit." Sasuke murmured from his place at the kitchen counter, a bowl of cereal occupying his hands.

Itachi nodded, crossing the room and perching himself beside his brother. "I can't sleep." He muttered before taking the spoon from Sasuke and helping himself to a mouthful of Shugakens - the cereal resembling miniature shurikens stars. Except the only deadly thing about these stars were their sugar content.

"What's on your mind?" Sasuke asked after commandeering his spoon back.

Itachi didn't answer immediately. He chewed the sugary treats as though digesting his thoughts. Sasuke waited, surprisingly patiently, the only sound being their quiet crunches.

"Everything. Nothing. Shisui. The clan's ability to weather change."

"Was it the whole, Otou-san giving away clan secrets like carnival prizes?"  Sasuke asked, taking another bite of cereal.

"Yes and no."

"I can't see Reina auctioning them off so I think we're good on that forefront."

Itachi nodded in agreement, flipping the switch of the stove on and taking out two teacups. "I don't know what to do with Shisui's eye. I don't want it falling into the wrong hands like it did with Danzo - Shisui deserves better than that."

"Then implant it." Sasuke replied casually, as though they were discussing what channel to switch to on the television, not implanting one of their kinsman's body parts.

Itachi leaned against the counter, his knuckles white from clutching the edge. "I don't think I could live with that guilt." He paused, focusing his eyes on the graining of the floorboards to keep himself from falling apart. "To carry him around idly, whilst he lays dead somewhere. I don't think I want the constant reminder that he's not here."

"Nii-san..." Sasuke abandoned his bowl to wrap his arms around his brother, his courageously strong Nii-san. "You don't have to make a decision now." Sasuke murmured, hugging Itachi tightly. "Shisui would have hated the thought of him making you upset."

"Then he shouldn't have put me in this position. He shouldn't have left the way he did." Itachi managed to spit out, his emotions getting the better of him despite the lateness of the hour.

"Shisui left on his own terms."

"Reina?" Both brothers turned at the sound of her voice, Sasuke still holding his brother.

Reina crossed the room silently, tugging her dressing gown that little bit tighter around her. "I didn't know Shisui like you did, but from what I've heard he wouldn't have wanted to be a pawn in someone else's game. He exited the board on his own terms, conceding before anyone could issue him a checkmate - not that I think anyone could have come close to that."

Itachi nodded in agreement, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

"You just need to decide what your next move is." Reina added, taking out a third cup and adding multiple tea bags to the teapot. "To decide what it is you want to do with your life and not what others want you to do."

Sasuke nodded, picking up his bowl of cereal again now that he deemed it safe to leave Itachi's side. "Reina's right, Nii-san. You need to be selfish from here on out. Fuck everyone else."

Reina huffed a laugh whilst Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Eloquent as ever." Itachi murmured lowly.

"Sasuke is right, Itachi." Reina added. "You need to disregard the expectations of your clan, the pressures of your parents and obligations to your village and decide what it is that you want to do."

"I don't think anyone has ever asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I always presumed I'd die serving the village."

"Technically you did." Sasuke added dryly, looking at Reina with a pointed look which she nodded in reply, picking up the whistling kettle silently.

"What would Shisui have wanted you to do? Would he have wanted you to work yourself to death? Would he have wanted you to be miserable every waking moment?" Reina asked as she poured the boiling water into the teapot, wisps of jasmine instantly curling into the air.

Without hesitation Itachi replied.

"He would have wanted me to be happy."