✷

Never in my life
          Not once
          did l ever think l'd watch a genocide unfold right before my eyes
          Never had I thought l'd see so many dead children on my screen
          So many heart wrenching sobs that tear right through my soul
          How blind the eyes must be for those who choose to ignore it
          Imagine they dropped a bomb on London instead You think we'd get past one bomb on Oxford street?
          You think we'd let people being blown to bits in New York slide?
          
          “For indeed, it is not the eyes that are blinded, but blinded are the hearts which are within the breasts.”   QURAN 22: 46

A day ago, @crierayla made the following post: "PLEASE SHARE!!! PLEASE READ!!!
          
          I know that I don’t have a following the size of the people participating in the Creators for Palestine project, but I want to try something regardless. Wattpad is not designed for spreading messages like this, pms are gone and it doesn’t function as most social media does. still, I’ve seen people continue to utilize the platforms they have on here to speak about Palestine and raise awareness because it’s where they have the most attention.
          
          If everyone who sees this donates even £5 to Aya’s family and shares this link on their message board and among their personal social media accounts, we can help her reach her goal. by focusing our attention on one gofundme, we have the potential to, in a large number, make a difference. I’m tired of feeling helpless. 
          
          Most importantly, and to incentivize if I can, if you yourself are not capable of donating £5, if you share this gofundme on your message board encouraging others to donate and spread the word, I will donate an additional £1 for you until the number surpasses £200 (roughly $300 CAD). to do this in a way that I (and you) am not waiting for two hundred people, and to encourage the gofundme to spread, I will donate that money in £20 increments per every twenty people who do this, meaning 10 donations total. I am happy to provide proof of each in the hopes that among the people sharing, a chain reaction can start. if anyone wants to do the same, for any number — be it £10 or £50, please please do!
          
          Please follow Aya and help her family"
          
          Along with her message, she also posted links to donate: 
          https://www.gofundme.com/f/geg2u-rebuilding-hope-for-ayas-family-and-saving-them?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer
          
          https://www.tiktok.com/@ayaha.sabagh?_t=8mjLJ5x5CRZ&_r=1

i want to fall in love again so badly it hurts
          it’s crawled up my throat and settled at the back of my mouth 
          Underneath my tongue, between my teeth 
          Sometimes I bite down and bitterness floods my mouth until all I can do is wonder when?
          when will I ever be ready?
          when will love find me?
          i can be loved too
          I want to be loved 
          The words die at the tip of my tongue and i run its carcass along my teeth until my mouth looks more like death than a kissing machine 
          Will you taste the bitterness too when I kiss you?
          Will you feel the gutwrenching pain that is my heart in your palms?
          Will it dig into your flesh and settle into your bones like a desperate thing, like mine did?
          will you promise not to run away screaming from the first sight of m̶e̶ monstrosity?

Le temporary change in theme to fit the current mood

Good morning, Gaza is burning 
          Sudan is experiencing a silent genocide 
          Congo is enslaved and robbed and used to the bones
          
          And thousands of children have been killed and orphaned in Palestine.
          
          How’s your day going?
          
          (another video comes up as you scroll; a mother’s scream pierces the screen and shatters your soul because she’s carrying a body so tiny you’re afraid to put it into the ground and she kisses it and there’s tears on your screen but then your alarm chimes and you realize your washing machine is done and the horror you’ve seen is too far away to hurt you)

hey guys. It’s getting really hard to spam all the chapters and books i love because I’ve barely got any free time and im almost always exhausted when i do get to read them so I’ve been forced to resort to ghost reading most of the time. 
          
          it’s been getting awfully quiet here.
          
          feels like yelling into a void really. I’d apologize a thousand times to all my friends who i fail to keep in touch with because im awful at texting and I swear im a more fun and active person in person but im working on it.
          
          Love you all. Will figure out a way to get my writing back on track soon.

Funny how I’ve literally witnessed a chapter in the hunger games come alive right before my eyes as I scrolled on Instagram 
          
          Pictures of dresses and celebrities glamed up intertwined with the bodies of dead children 
          
          Someone is obsessed with zendaya’s eye look and a mother is screaming because she’s staring at her child and his eyes have been gouged out by the building that collapsed on him
          
          Don’t you fućking dare tell me this is triggering 
          Don’t you fućking dare look away
          Fùck you and your mental health 
          
          Fućk your forced ignorance and the fact that you’re living on like everything’s normal 
          
          All eyes on Rafah
          Save the children 
          Free Palestine 

NEW THEMEEEEEE
          
          as you can tell I am fleabag, fleabag is I 
          I live for her
          
          If you haven’t watched fleabag yet we can’t be friends anymore im sorry 

The fact that I came online to find out THAT WATTPAD IS DELETING PMS WTF WHY WHATS GOING ON???

i did it
          
          midterms are finally over
          
          id sob if i wasnt so dehydrated DEAR GOD
          GUYS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IM ONLY RUNNING ON STRESS AND ADRENALINE IM TOO PUMPED TO SLEEP BUT IM TOO TIRED TO DO ANYTHING HOLY SH*T IM FINALLY DONE T_T 
          
          procrastination will be the death of me because my b*tchass really thought i could cover an entire semester's worth of work THE NIGHT BEFORE THE PAPER WE'RE TALKING OVER 70+ SLIDES AND TEXTBOOKS 
          
          holy mother of oddly shaped rectangles i f*cking did it
          
          i f*cking did it
          
          don't be like me kids. 
          make a schedule and stick to it i beg you
          
          also last update i am now immune to coffee (and im talking the solid good stuff aka ARABIC coffee) if anything it makes me sleepy tf send help T_T