Lionheart

SPOILERS FOR WONDER WOMAN AND WONDER WOMAN: 1984 AHEAD!!!!!!!!
          
          
          So, I saw WW84 a couple weeks ago, and... it wasn’t what I was expecting to say the least. As soon as the montage of Wonder Woman’s heroics started, I realized that this movie was not what I wanted or expected, and I was just going to have to go with it if I was to enjoy this movie. And in some ways, I did enjoy it. As someone who absolutely loved the first film and has it (at the very least) on my list of top 5 greatest comic book films, I hated WW84 as a sequel to that film. But as just a Wonder Woman movie, I thought it was fine. I felt like it was very reminiscent of the Lynda Carter days. So, I wasn’t really that annoyed with the movie, even though the people I saw it with absolutely hated it, and didn’t really think I wanted to talk about it. But the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. 
          
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Looking at it, there was so much potential for this movie to be as amazing as the first, or even more so. But it’s like they looked at everything great about the first one, and said “nah, hard pass.” And then they looked at everything potentially great about the sequel and decided to blow everything out of proportion. 
          
          For instance, the first film explored a story about the true nature of mankind and the fact that there is good and evil within everyone. It was emotional, exciting, heartbreaking, and inspiring all at the same time. It was the first superhero film that made me truly feel the rage of the protagonist. After Steve Trevor sacrificed himself and Diana broke free of her iron bondage, fueled by grief and rage, and began storming through the enemy soldiers surrounded by fire.... I actually got tears in my eyes. I felt her rage and disgust with mankind. AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. And when Aries was encouraging her and telling her how horrible and depraved mankind is, Diana utters my favorite line from the movie: “They are everything you say they are... but so much more.” My tears truly started flowing. 
          So, I say all that to say this: THEY COULD HAVE HAD A STORY EQUALLY AS EMOTIONAL AND COMPELLING THAT IS ALSO ABOUT THE TRUE NATURE OF MANKIND! It seemed like that was almost what they were going for, but they screwed it up so catastrophically. 
          
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To be honest, I really didn’t like that Steve Trevor was in WW84. I really didn’t like that several decades later, Diana is still heartbroken and mourning EVERYDAY about a man she knew for like a week. Seriously? Arguably the most famous feminist icon around is devastated because she doesn’t have a man she knew for like a week? In the movie, she is talking to Steve and says something along the lines of “you are the only think that has brought me joy.” Really?? Frickin, REALLY?! Wonder Woman hasn’t found anything else to bring her joy? Okay then. Well, at least in my opinion, that’s quite ridiculous. 
          
          But whatever, they wanted to bring Chris Pine back since him and Gal Gadot had such good chemistry in the first one, so we could work with that. But then they do what was possibly the WEIRDEST THING they could have POSSIBLY DONE, and have Steve Trevor’s soul or consciousness possess the body of some random dude. Why couldn’t he have just come back in his own body? Why couldn’t he have randomly appeared whenever the dream stone was? It’s not like the stone didn’t do other miraculous stuff in the movie. It gave Maxwell Lord its own powers, it turned Barbara into a Cheetah girl (but with more fur and less vocal talent), and made a massive wall appear in the middle of a city. So why did they choose to have Steve’s consciousness inhabit a random man’s body? I..... have no idea. You tell me. I mean, maybe they did it to make Diana’s reluctance to renounce her wish more selfish, so she has to wrestle with her own morality? But that just makes her seem like an asshole, instead of someone who wants the man she loves back. Because this guy has to have a job. He has to have friends and family. Does he have a partner? Duties or obligations? Like, they just uproot this man’s entire life and pluck him from existence and give his body to Steve Trevor to use.
          
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And then to make it worse, Diana sleeps with his body without his consent, essentially raping him. A FEMINIST ICON RAPING A DUDE. I mean, seriously? And keep in mind that there is an extended period of time in this movie when Diana refuses to renounce her wish, which would let this guy return to existing. So, essentially, she kills a dude and wants to have sex with his body forever so she can be happy. DIANA IS AN ASSHOLE IN THIS MOVIE. 
          
          If they wouldn’t have needlessly had Steve take over another man’s body, this storyline could have worked to the film’s benefit. It would have given Diana a personal, moral conflict, once again making her wrestle with the nature of mankind, but focusing on a new aspect of that nature: selfishness. And to make it better, she is struggling with it herself, instead of just trying to fix it for all those around her. Which is great, because it helps to highlight how Diana has assimilated, and isn’t as much of an outsider as she was in the first film. 
          
          I think selfishness is what the main theme of the film should have been, rather than “careful what you wish for” or whatever else they were going for. Because the theme of selfishness works for every single character in the film. And I guess it IS a theme in the film, it’s just shoved to the back and not highlighted enough.
          
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So, since this review/rant (which is already much longer than I intended) is now turning into what could be titled “How I Would Fix WW84,” I’ll just kinda go with that. I will explain how I would fix it, going by each piece at a time. 
          
          I already talked about how I would fix Diana and Steve, so I have them out of the way. I shall now move on to talk about Barbara Minerva/Cheetah. First off, I liked her character. I think she was handled poorly, but the idea was good. I found her relatable. As someone who has historically been very insecure at times and had a very bad inferiority complex, I understood her character. I understood why she wished to be like Diana. I understood why she was so hesitant to give up her newfound power and confidence. I understood why she wanted more and more and more and more, which eventually turned her into the Cheetah. I love the line from the film (and in the trailer) when she says (speaking to Diana), “People like you have had everything, while people like me have had nothing.” That statement obviously isn’t true, as Diana doesn’t have everything, and Barbara doesn’t have nothing, but it lets you see how insecure people view themselves and others. I really, REALLY liked that idea. An inherently good, but very insecure person, is overcome with selfishness and turns into a monster. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s an incredible idea, and it would fit so well with my theme: selfishness.
          
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So, the thing I would fix about Barbara’s storyline is this: don’t make it so goddamn cheesy. There was no need for her character to be so over-the-top. With more subtlety, the character and performance could have been phenomenal. But they made her this ridiculous caricature to the point that it’s borderline insulting to those of us who relate to her, and it really makes her feel less like a real person. So yeah, that’s what I would fix. Just make her less cartoonish. 
          
          And just because I really liked it, I want to mention one more great thing about Barbara: The scene where she confronts the man who was harassing her earlier in the movie. She has her strength, she has her confidence, and she’s a force to be reckoned with. So, she happens across her attacker, and he starts his bullshit. But this time, she’s having none of it. Taking notes from Diana, she decides to fight back. But unlike Diana, she doesn’t just defend herself. She goes so far beyond that. She is beating this guy to a pulp while this heart-stopping theme roars, and he’s crawling away in fear. And while this is happening, you’re thinking “hell yeah, you show him what for, Barbara! He deserves it!”
          
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But it’s when the homeless man who she fed earlier (displaying her compassion) shows up to the scene and is horrified at what she has done that you realize that you shouldn’t be cheering. Did the guy deserve it? Probably. But was it the morally right thing to do? At least in the perspective of this film, no. It’s here that you realize that Barbara is already going off the deep end. She’s abusing her power and she’s drunk off of it. Unlike Diana, she wasn’t just standing her ground. She was attacking. She was no longer the prey, she was the predator. Diana was not the predator when she fought the guy. She was a defender. Barbara played offense, while Diana played defense. This scene highlighted the growing difference between Diana and Barbara, and shows you where Barbara’s character is headed. As Steve said in the first film, “it’s not about deserve, it’s about what you believe.” And for the reasons stated above, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED this scene, aside for one aspect, which I’ll get to later. 
          
          Now, to talk about Maxwell Lord: to be honest, I don’t think there’s much to say here. I didn’t like his character and the whole time he was on screen I just wanted the movie to get back to Diana or Barbara. But I think his character would have been much better if the rules for the wishing magic would have been much clearer and strict, and if he wasn’t so over-the-top like Barbara. Oh, and it would have also been much better if it would have actually explained how he knew about the wishing stone and how it worked. Personally, I would have like to know that I wasn’t going to be turned into an actual rock when I uttered the words “I wish to be the wishing stone itself.” 
          
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So, now that I’ve got all the important characters out of the way, I’ll talk about other things I would have changed. 
          
          First off, lose the cartoonish tone. As a Wonder Woman film? Fine.... I guess. I don’t think anyone would have preferred that over the serious tone of the original, but whatever. But it really disappointed me after the first one set a drastically different precedent. But even Wonder Woman’s classic costume did not fit with the tone. The ridiculous and absolutely unnecessary golden one? Sure. But not the epic Greek-warrior one. To be honest, the cartoonish tone just made the movie feel like a bad comedy to me. Like a live action Looney Toons or some shit. It’s hard to take anything seriously in the movie, and it made me feel almost entirely numb during the emotional beats. Like.... no ones gonna cry in Looney Tunes if Buggs Bunny has to renounce his wish, which will cause Daffy Duck to disappear. 
          
          Second of all, don’t make the movie so anti-man. The first one wasn’t, why does this one need to be? The first one held a high level of respect for men. None of them were treated as mindless objects. The movie even gave value to the soldiers that were sent into war as canon-fodder. If you don’t know I’m talking about it, I’m referring to the scene in which Diana is speaking her mind to the general who says that dying is “what soldiers do.” But this movie? Nah. This movie is having none of that. Every man in this movie, with the exception of Steve Trevor and the man Diana rapes, is an asshole. They’re all snarling pigs cat-calling Diana and Barbara and trying to get in their pants or just shitty people. That’s what I didn’t like about the scene when Barbara confronts her attacker. The only person that needed to be cat-calling her was him. But there were like five other dudes in that scene doing the same thing. And then there was the party scene where all the dudes were harassing Diana. Like.... why??? 
          
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Third, fix the CGI. The running, the green screen, the swinging.... it was all awful. Surprisingly, I though Cheetah actually looked alright. 
          
          Fourth, just change the climax. Get rid of the pointless golden suit, make Cheetah’s transformation make more sense, don’t make the movie hinge on a stupid idea that makes no sense about Maxwell being able to kinda sorta touch people through TV particles and shit, and they should have not under any circumstance made it to where the whole world population had to make a wish and then renounce it. Cause you know good and damn well that there are plenty of people in plenty of situations that wouldn’t have renounced their wish. It was absolutely ridiculous. And I really hated it, cause it made mankind look fake. It doesn’t force us to confront our selfishness. It made us all look like saints. I absolutely hated it. For me, it was by far the stupidest thing in the movie. 
          
          And lastly, get rid of the weird Hallmark movie scene at the end where Diana flirts with the guy she raped without him knowing. 
          
          Well, that was ridiculously longer than I anticipated (which, coincidentally, is also what I said about WW84). So, thanks for reading and giving me your time I guess, if you made it this far. Hopefully you found this informational or entertaining or something. 

This debate is a train wreck and I can’t look away