wanderingcinderella

I'm starting to doubt every damn thing again

wanderingcinderella

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I waited, but the tears won't fall anymore. Maybe I'm just too numb. I wish I could just be numb enough not to feel any of the shit that exists in this miserable morbid world. Can someone please tell me how to not feel? Is there a way to end this without dying? Because dying is too easy, too selfish. And I don't want to be as selfish as everyone else. The world is filled with so much pain that it pains me to look at any one in the eye. Because I know, there's always something else behind those happy smiles, just like how it is for me. I know their tears won't fall anymore because they've been crying all their lives. Is this even life? I bet it's just a painful cycle of what to do next. What if there's just nothing else to do? Would you still tell me not to give in? Because I've been patiently waiting for something all my life. A miracle of some sort, a turning point, or even a point of no return. But there's just nothing else here. Nothing but a broken heart and a broken soul. You know what's more funny than that? It's the fact that I don't know when it got broken, how it ended up in pieces, and who had the capability to even do that. But that's life, right? It goes on and on and on. It gives no consideration. It's either you go with the flow or you end up in the gutter. I'm okay now. I don't need someone to tell me I'll be okay because I'm okay now. I havr always been okay. Because 'okay' was a phase where everything is falling apart, yet we still manage to smile and look for the brighter side. That's a talent I've learned from all that was happening. Just hold me tight, don't let go. I'm going to fall now, so please don't let me go. Just five more minutes, and it'll all be gone.