Mr. Darcy's Bride

Chapter 32

The door to Darcy's room had not been locked once since they had come to Pemberley. Elizabeth remembered him telling her that his door would always be open to her, and a kernel of fear was planted in her stomach. Certainly, there must be an explanation.

She headed into her sitting room, intending to knock on the main door to his rooms. He might still be in bed, but she knew that he often arose early to look over his papers and prepare for the day. If she used the main door, she would not disturb him if he was still abed.

When she was nearly at the door of her suite, she heard his door close. She opened her door hurriedly, hoping to catch him before he went to his office. Instead, she saw the Duchess, wearing the same gown that she had on the previous night and looking very mussed. The Duchess stopped in the hallway, turned back towards Darcy's door, and blew a kiss. To keep from being seen, Elizabeth rushed back into her room and locked the door.

Her heart was beating very quickly. What had the Duchess been doing there? It was clear she had not spent the night in her own room. Elizabeth thought about how messy the Duchess's hair was, and how she carried her shoes rather than wearing them. And then there was the matter of the thrown kiss! She had all the indications of a woman who had spent the night in the throes of passion.

But Darcy would not do that. Elizabeth knew him better than that. Things between them had been so wonderful. He would not betray her like that. There had to be some other explanation for why she saw the Duchess leaving his suite and why his bedroom door was locked.

She sat heavily on the settee to work out an alternate explanation. Perhaps he had locked his door to keep from disturbing her while she was ill. No, that made no sense. How would a lock affect whether she was disturbed? She wracked her brain trying to think of a reason, but she failed. Every thought she had was illogical. That door had not been locked a single night since she had arrived at Pemberley, so why on earth would he have taken the time to lock it, unless he was doing something he did not want her to know about?

Elizabeth might have been able to explain the door lock, although she was not sure how. She might have been able to explain seeing the Duchess in the hall, although she and Darcy had the only rooms in that hallway. But the two facts together lent credence to what Caroline Bingley had said the night before.

She suddenly remembered the conversation with Darcy after the incident with Lord Stapleton and Mr. Colborne, where she had told him he had her blessing to take a mistress. She had assumed, with the thaw in their relationship, that he had no intention of availing himself of that particular offer. But she had never told him she no longer felt that way. She had simply assumed that he would know.

What would he want with a mistress? Was his wife not enough for him? Questions whirled through Elizabeth's head, and the next thing she knew, tears were running down her cheek. She remembered how surprisingly agreeable he had been when Georgiana first suggested the ball. Was it so that he could see the Duchess? Had this all been planned? And how long had it been going on? Based on what Miss Bingley said, it was likely that they had been involved for some time. Did he have a mistress even before she had told him he could take one? And ultimately, did it matter to her if he did, seeing that he had a mistress now?

Miss Stewart had awoken and walked into the sitting room to find Elizabeth bent over, sobbing.

"My lady, what is wrong? Did something happen with the baby?" Miss Stewart asked frantically.

Elizabeth looked up and just stared at her lady's maid for a moment. "No, Stewart. The baby is fine."

"Then what has upset you to this degree?"

"I am not yet ready to speak of it. Can you make me look as if I have not been crying? I cannot go downstairs looking like this."

Miss Stewart got to work, giving Elizabeth a cold cloth to press under her eyes while her hair was tidied. Elizabeth got her sobs under control so the cloth could do its work, and by the time her hair was finished, Elizabeth's eyes were noticeably less puffy. After several more minutes, her appearance did not give a hint of the turmoil that she was feeling, and she felt prepared to attend breakfast.