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"No! Please! I'm sorry! It won't happen again!" Zanda yelled in her sleep literally shaking in fear. Her screaming startled both Yanda and I up. I gently shook her awake but she wasn't waking up. I had to shake her vigorously before she woke up. "Koki! Koki! I want Koki. Take me back to her." She uttered frantically. She still wasn't aware of her surroundings. I picked her up and placed her on my lap and made her look at me. "I'm here Zanda, look at me. Your Koki is here. No one will hurt you okay." Her eyes finally focused on me and she visibly calmed down. Her Hands that had been clutching onto my arms finally let me go and she buried her face in my neck and began crying hysterically again. The sight broke my heart. Yanda who was sitting there quietly observing our interaction was livid. He too was shaking.

It took two hours to calm Zanda down and get her back to sleep. Now I was certain something had happened to Zanda over her stay with her father. I laid her down between us and Yanda picked her up and placed her on his chest cuddling her. The regret was swimming deep in his eyes. Had this be under different circumstances I'd be melting at the sight before me but I was just too overcome with anger. Neither of us said anything to the other we just laid beside each other trapped in our thoughts. We both couldn't fall back asleep. We both got up before the sun rose, shared a shower and made breakfast still encompassed in silence.

Everyone started coming down, seemingly ready for work. Nothile and Nathi helped me set the table. Everyone sat down and breakfast was shared over light conversation when it was interrupted by Zanda's screeches. Yanda and I jumped out of our seats and raced up the staircase and into our bedroom and found her looking around in confusion. She calmed down when our eyes met. I rushed to her and picked her up and we all made way back downstairs. We returned to our seats and everyone's eyes fell on Zanda in confusion and concern. Breakfast continued but in silence. I made a plate for Zanda and placed it before her but she seemed unsure of whether to take the food or not. She looked up at me from my lap for the go ahead and I smiled at her nodding and only then did she dig in.

Everyone was looking at her behaviour and appeared angry or sad at the sight. "Makoti she seems to trust you most despite the trauma she's clearly gone through. Please get through to her and find out what happened." Bab'Hadebe asked trying so hard to mask the emotions he felt. I nodded. "Yebo baba."
I picked up Zanda after she'd wolfed down her food and some of mine, I didn't have much of an appetite anyways, and took her to her room. I hope this would cheer both of us up. "Where are we going Koki? Your room is that way." She asked as we walked down the passage. "We're going to another one sunshine." Her forehead creased in confusion yet again and I knew another question was coming. "Whose?" She indeed asked. "It belongs to my sunshine." I replied side eyeing her with a smile waiting for the pin to drop. She smiled widely at me when it finally dawned on her. "Which door Koki?!" She asked impatiently letting go of my hand ready to race to it. "The one straight down the passage. " and just like that she bolted from my side and ran into her room.

When I walked in her tiny hands were on the glass looking out at the lake and houses in the distance. " We'll have picnics and tea parties by that lake Koki." She said looking back at me and smiling. Her smile warmed and broke my heart all at the same time. She'd been my sunshine through my darkest days even though she didn't know it now it was my turn to shed light on her darkness. "Okay my nunuskies." I replied smiling at her opening my hand for her to take. She jumped off her bean bag and onto me. I caught her and we made our way to her walk in closet. I knew she'd go gaga over it. When I opened the door she squealed in excitement and slid out of my hold and made a mad dash to the sneakers and immediately picked out a dusty pink pair. She turned to me and smiled in question. I smiled back and she moved onto the next part of the closet and the next and the next picking and then changing her mind about what she wanted to wear but the sneakers seemed to be a definite option.

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