Two Idiots and a Cape: Ebony Blood

Chapter Six: In Which Pam Is Upset and Edward Goes To Time-out

Knock, knock, knock.

"Coming!" Mike called, stepping off the stool he'd been using to reach the upper kitchen cabinets. He'd been clearing them out because being stuck at home was boring, and his stubborn husband wasn't letting him leave yet. Said husband appeared at the top of the stairs, shaking his head and mouthing, 'No!' Mike quirked a brow.

Knock knock knock!

'What is your problem?' He mouthed back, approaching the front door. Edward flapped his hands, looking crazed.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! Ok, that was it. Mike unlocked and opened the door with a flourish to reveal a red-faced Pam holding her daughter in her arms. She handed Danielle to Mike, who yelped, and stormed into the house.

"EDWARD JASPER MAES!" She bellowed. Mike heard Ed let out a terrified yell, and Pam took off up the stairs. Seconds later, Edward was yelling in pain while Pam shouted something along the lines of, "–TAKE ON ARMED ROBBERS ALONE?! ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?" Mike looked down at the two-year-old, who smiled and squealed happily.

"U'cle Mike!"

"Hey there, Squishy! Did you know Uncle Ed's middle name is Jasper?" 

"Mmm, I dunno?" 

"Yeah, me neither."

"Ow, ow, ow!" 

"Oh, shush up, or I'll give you something to whine about."

"You already did! Seriously, did you have to wallop me?" Ed pouted while Pam iced the nice bruise she'd given him on his bicep. Damn, that smarted!

"Beating sense into you gently never worked before, and I figured after your latest stunt, your skull must have somehow gotten thicker since last I saw you, so I figured I had to be pretty forceful." Mike snorted from the other side of the kitchen table at that; Danielle sat in his lap and bobbing gently on his leg. 

Edward winced. "Yeah, well, congrats– You broke my arm. Happy?" Pam rolled her eyes, pinching his cheek.

"You're insufferable. I was scared! I can never forget bringing you to the hospital after Visne, and then Mike calls and tells me about your shopping escapade and that he isn't sure what happened–"

"I go to the hospital all the time! We both do," He gestured to Mike. "We're hero's for a living." 

"I don' want you'n 'ncle Mike to go to the hos'tal!" Danielle whined, jumping up and down on Mike's lap, making him wince. Edward melted at her puppy-dog eyes, which seemed to stare into his very soul and yank on his heartstrings simultaneously. Darn it! Damned kid...

"Ok, ok, we'll be more careful! Just make your daughter stop using her magic on me!" Edward begged. Pam crossed her arms and smirked, knowing she'd won once again, the smug woman. Danielle laughed loudly, cheeks rosy.  

"I don't have magic!" She said. 

Ed hummed in thought. "You don't? But I could have sworn–" He looked to Mike. "Does she have magic?"

"I think she does. I saw her fly before!" Danielle turned and looked up at Mike, pouting.

"I'd never fly'd before!" 

"Really? Well then–" Mike picked her up under her arms, blowing a raspberry while he ran her around the room. Edward smiled brightly as he watched Mike playing with the little girl, shaking his head fondly.