58. Cryptic revelations

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A/N 
I hope everyone's staying extra safe cuz I was staying safe but fell sick anyway. The past month had been hard, but thankfully we're pulling thru. Thank you so much for the ones who dropped in kind msgs. I MISSED EVERYONE SO MUCH❤
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Julian

I refused my eyes to dance all over her when she thought about what I said. It was bewildering how she wasn't getting the clue in one go.

With every passing moment, I fought to keep my distance from her. Holding a steady smile because Lord knows if she'd be terrified of me again.

But even after thinking this long, all that came out was her blissful ignorance, "Yes, Caspara told it too," she tilted her head in thought, "That someone needs to stay with the King," she exclaimed as if remembering it all of a sudden, "She said she wouldn't stay long and return to the palace-"

"Do you think I love her?" I interjected her.

The way she always talked about Caspara as if she was my soulmate was disturbing. I needed to know why she thought so highly of the concubine. 

"She, um… she is your… favourite concubine…" she mumbled innocently. 

I exhaled. Caspara, being Persian, had a greater chance of getting bullied by the palace people. But it looked like being extra polite to these women took a toll on them.

"Isn't she?" she poked in again.

I shook my head in disapproval. Would I ever kiss you like that if I loved someone else?

"The concubines… used to say so," she gulped when I just looked at her.

A snicker escaped me. "Along with food, they know how to cook words too. You shouldn't eat the latter." I smiled.

She lowered her gaze in sheepishness. The timid smile on her face made her look a mix of blushing and sadness.

Was she insecure about something? Maybe she has never been loved by someone… 

My fist clenched at the thought. At the very thought if someone did something to her that she was reluctant this way. Even with a King with whom she had no one to fear.

"You want to attend the marriage procession?" I asked softly. God, did I want her to stay, but I couldn't bring it in myself to coerce her. It felt like caging a bird who would happily sit on my shoulder.

I'd assumed she would agree in a heartbeat. Instead, she fiddled with the golden cloth draped at one side of her shoulder, eyes dwindling.

"Y- You wanted me to do… something?" 

The faint eagerness on her part was enough to wake my wilted heart. "I had a quick dinner because I wanted to have something else." I sucked in a quiet breath when my eyes fell over her bare waist again.

How would it feel like moving my lips over those- 

When she appeared to think if there was a guest with whom I wanted to dine, I broke into a smile, "Only for me." Fuck my thoughts.

She stared for a while, her face slowly brightening up, "But it won't be the fish fingers," she giggled, "something else."

That only resulted in a more atrocious fantasy occurring to me. Might as well be good if Zeus hits my head with his lighting bolt to purify it somewhat.

I officially felt pathetic when I saw the smiling innocence on her face. She may not be innocent but the way she carried herself, so pristine and so damn opposite to what went through my head.

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