Not Who You Thought (BxB Drama-Romance)

Coming Out (Of The Shower)

Now

Author's note: the people asked for more assertive Charlie smut, and I have delivered him being as bossy as he will ever be. All the smut is sandwiched between two important non-sexual parts of the chapter, so if you want to bypass the smut it begins halfway through.

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My artwork has become fevered in the two weeks since Charlie and I have solidified our relationship. Now I paint in bold colors, the lines merging together to become two bodies connecting. The pictures remind me of what I saw during my psychedelic trip in Cayden's basement. The pictures are of me and Charlie, hands and feet, blue eyes and full lips, they are of the insane things I've never felt before and he makes me feel now. My heart bleeds red and blue onto my canvases.

He tells me that I am his first kiss. We're sitting on my patio while I'm sketching a picture of the ancient oak tree in my backyard. He presents this fact to me almost as a gift, thinking that I will like that I was the first person to kiss him.

I wish he didn't say it. I'm thinking about being in the bathroom with him the first time we met again since little league baseball. I remember the way he angled my cock down his throat, taking me in one expert swallow. My fingers falter while I think about how he turned over into his stomach the first time we had sex, the way he knew this was what he was supposed to do even though he seemed so anxious about it. I rest my pencil on my leg while I replay the images of him sprawling out seductively, lifting his hips for me to slide into him, taking me in his mouth, and making me finish too fast because of how good he is at giving head. I know he has done all these things before because his movements are the movements of someone who has experienced someone showing them what to do.

"No way," I say.

I want Charlie to laugh and say he is joking, that he has kissed plenty of other boys before me. I want him to say someone else was nice to him, that they kissed him gently and let him sleep in their bed if he didn't feel like having sex.

"Yeah." He smiles. "I'm glad you were my first kiss. It feels right, you know?"

I study the side of his face. He has a serene expression as he gazes up at the pink-tinted sky. The clouds look like cotton candy, and I almost believe I can reach up and pluck a handful of spun sugar from the sky.

We haven't had sex since he has become my boyfriend. We've been too busy doing other things. We've driven an hour away to go to an eighties-themed roller skating rink with Allison, we've hiked several local mountains, and we've gone swimming in the lake at dusk. We've chased one another around my house and out into the yard, laughing and whooping. We've gone thrifting and bought fifty dollars worth of grungy vintage clothing that he immediately began to crop and destroy as soon as we got home. We've laid together and gazed at one another, our hands resting on one another's cheeks.

"You don't mind that you've never kissed anyone else?" A pressure headache is growing behind my eyes. "Not that I've kissed too many other people."

"No. I only wanna kiss you." He shakes his head and tilts his head to glance at the notebook resting on my lap. "Nice." He nods his approval. "The picture looks great."

I want to ask him more questions. I want to put my hands on his shoulders and give him a serious look while I ask him how he knew what to do if he had never kissed anyone before me. I want to tell him about the lie Benji told me, about the explicit pictures and video of him as a child. I want to ask him if he is okay, except he looks completely fine. He looks happy as his knee bumps mine and the setting sun makes our skin orange and pink.

I'm probably overthinking everything.

"Thank you." I close my notebook and set it down beside me. "I feel gross. It's too damn hot."