Alleviate

5| cinco

Caramel isn't a song.

-

"Would you like a cigarette?" he asked, pulling out a Marlboro pack.

I've always been curious as to how it would feel to smoke a cigarette. Would it be redeeming even as it poisoned my lungs? I never turned to the luxury of putting anything into my body except for food.

I tapped the wooden floor, and he gave me a knowing smile. Something akin to friendliness.

He lit the end and handed it to me before lighting one for himself. I've never had something between fingers in such a position, so it was awkward for me. I put it to my lips and tried to take what they call a "drag", by sucking in my breath.

The smoke made me cough as it slowly made its way down my throat. I removed the cigarette and blew it out, watching the white wisps envelope my face. He stared at me right through all of this.

"You've clearly never smoked before. I've seen many people your age smoke so I thought you'd want one."

It was awfully strange to be having this conversation, but the soft voice of his strangely relaxed me to an extent that I even attempted to speak to him.

"How old are you?" It hurt to speak, but I felt the pain reducing.

"I'm twenty three. You're around eighteen, right?"

"Sixteen. I'll be seventeen in two months."

I saw a wave uneasiness come over his face. But he only nodded and took another drag, blowing out the smoke towards the opposite wall that had a clock there. It read 12:27 AM. I sat on the floor and so did he, only he was resting against the cot, as I faced the window.

"Your brother, he's not like you," I suddenly said.

He turned his head towards me. "He's got a weakness for women— especially prostitutes."

"And you don't? Why else would you be here?"

"I would've been pounding you on the bed if that was the case but I'm not. I don't think I could anymore. You see, my brother and I would often visit places like these."

He then fell quiet, and my curiosity rose. I hadn't shown any signs of interest in a conversation until now, as I never was interested in the past or personal lives of my clients. But I gave him a look to show him that I was listening.

"You actually want me to continue? I thought you detested any form of conversation."

I did. But my mind had become comparatively calmer, and I didn't feel so uncomfortable so as to dismiss any form of communication. I kept my cigarette to the side and thought hard before I spoke.

"You act as if you lost interest in sex, which is unheard of and an unseen characteristic, especially with the men here."

He laughed. "I can't deny that, Camilla. That's true."

I didn't like it when he used my name. Or when any male used my name, I found it disturbing. I looked away and did not respond.

"Did I say anything wrong?"

"No."

"It's like you drifted off for a moment back there."

"It's that you used my name."

He had a look of utter confusion, but the expression on my face caused a dawn of realisation and he finally he understood what I was trying to break through to him.

"You must think we're inconsiderate, heartless people. That being involved in a business like this would only make a man callous."

I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes. The happenings of today not only blew my mind away, but was too much to process. It was an overload of distraught and sadness. Furthermore, having a client tell me things that I'd thought I'd never hear seemed to having an effect on me.

"But to men, the thought of being inconsiderate never even occured. It didn't for me," he continued, saying the last sentence softer than usual.

"In fact, places like these boosted the morale of men, giving them a feeling of invincibility—to violate women irrespective of their consent or not. It gave me a feeling of dominance, that I could do whatever I want."

My eyes shot open and I stared at him. He looked back at me, staring at my eyes.

"I never noticed that you had heterochromia until now, as it's barely visible."

I suddenly felt conscious, and I wanted to hide my eyes. But I only nodded.

"One's chocolate brown and the other one's like caramel. Brown and Caramel."

"I inherited it from my mother."

He let out a sigh and took another drag. He was in deep contemplation of what to say next— or atleast I thought so. I knew this man wasn't like the other clients, something had configured his way of thinking in the recent past. I could see multiple emotions jumbled up inside him, even as a stranger. Maybe it was because a male had treated me as person with a mind, rather than body, or maybe it was because of how lost he seemed to be.

My mind kept drifitng to our previous topic.

"You and your brother would often visit places like these..?"

"Right, that's another long story. It's one in the morning, and I'm fucking tired."

His dark, messy hair was a mix of different shades of brown. Various tattoos could be seen on his arms, like his brother. He stood up, and for a moment- that easiness between us- or what little familiarity we had, dissipated. I continued to sit on the floor.

He got on to the bed and lied down at the end, next to the wall. I think he fell asleep after a few minutes. When I was sure he had dozed off, I sat at the end of the bed with my knees drawn to my chest, staring at the clock. Time passed slowly and it felt like I was having one of the longest nights of my life- by doing nothing.

-

I must've fallen asleep because I remember opening eyes to the ruined ceiling and a broken fan. I was still on the floor. There was the familiar slow but audible ticks of the clock. Just as I sat up, I saw Athelio getting up from the single-seater sofa across the room and put on his jacket.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"It's three, I think you should go back to sleep now."

"Could you possibly tell me why you even came here?"

"That's for another day."

I was confused. "Another day?"

He walked up to me and handed me a wad of cash. "I don't know why you are here. You seem to have a sharp mind, something much more worthy of this place. And as clients are drawn back to a brothel to fulfill their satisfaction; I have only yet had a taste of it tonight. But it's of the most bizarre sort and Camilla, and I can't help but think that I'm drawn to it."

The use of my name had startled me. I tried to analyse what he was saying, but I ended up more confused. There was no physical contact, so why would he be drawn back here, where he wasn't sexually satisfied. I was forced to think like this, merely because I didn't have any other choice. Certain circumstances in your life can sometimes configure your logic right in front of your eyes.

He seemed be to be in a rush, and in a confused state himself, almost like me. He shuffled with his wallet before looking at me with the same soft gaze that I saw the first time, before opening the door and leaving.

-x-

If you liked this chapter, please don't forget to vote and comment and share it with your friends and family. Tell me what you liked about it!! I wrote this during my exams, so excuse any errors, my mind wasn't exactly in the best state :)