SENSELESS : Jacob Black

32

We get changed into our Halloween costumes, since they are dry, and it's late enough that we barely have time to make it home. Jacob and I sit together in silence, with me holding my hearing aid in my hand. My hair is pretty wet, and though I could just put it in and it would probably be fine, I don't want to bother.

Especially since I'm so comfortable in this silence we share.

At home, I blow-dry my hair. Leia has a weird hairstyle. I try my best to emulate it, but I was never really taught to do much with my hair besides putting it into a ponytail and braids. When I come down the stairs, I'm the last one ready.

It seems Quil and Jacob have stopped bickering over who is going to wear which outfit. From what I remember, it looks like Jacob is Han and Quil is Luke. Mostly, I can tell because Quil has a pouted lip.

"Finally," Quil's lips perk up into a smile. "The party is about to get busy!"

We take another cab over so that everyone can have some fun. Though I'm not in the mood to drink away my feelings, I still don't know how to drive and nobody wants a beginner like me behind the wheel, especially when they are intoxicated.

Once we get to Sam's house, and the cab is gone, I realize we are early. It feels like we were set up, or that someone lied to me, since the boys don't seem surprised to be greeted by an empty yard. Sam is still setting up the fire pit in his backyard. He beckons us over, but I feel so cold. My outfit is draped over me like a sheet. It's not insulated well. As the boys head over, grabbing beers out of the cooler and opening them, I head inside.

Emily is there, preparing food. She has little decorated cookies and candy apples, and all sorts of other treats for the occasion. I grab a little cup and fill it with a few candies. I was never allowed any sweets growing up, out of fear that I would gain weight even though I worked out for two to three hours every day without rest.

While the weakness makes my body feel foreign, the rest is appreciated.

"So, Jacob's seeing you now," Emily says. "Literally, anyway."

"Yeah," I say, biting down on a sugar-coated candy. It is sour, and it makes me pucker my lips.

She looks at me and smiles, "you like sour candies?"

I shake my head, quickly chewing it and swallowing it. It feels heavy in my throat, almost a lump, but at least it's not in my mouth anymore. I grab a beer off the table and drink from it, forcing the liquor to wash down the dull ache.

"I thought it would be sweet," I manage, after I finish swallowing.

"I figured," she laughs, moving back to organizing the strawberries that have been decorated to look like ghosts.

Ghosts aren't real, I remind myself.

Vampires and shape-shifters, on the other hand, apparently have free reign over my world.

"How's it been, since Hawaii?" I ask. It's been weeks since we last spoke. It was even before Marie died. That alone feels like years ago. Time passes me by like cars on the freeway. Soon, I will be expected to exist in the space that Emily occupies. We are both the imprints of the Alphas.

She looks at me, "you don't really want to talk about me, do you?"

"Of course I do," I correct her. "You're like, kind of one of the few people here who gets it."

She offers a polite grin, "well enough. With the Cullens moving out in a few months, it looks like the pack is going to retire. Other than Kamiko, we haven't had a vampire here in years. Everyone is already looking for work with their free time."