Willa

Chapter Thirty Six: Alberta

Three months would pass, grief kind of took over I won't lie, and unless I was throwing myself into the basketball season, I was back at Mary and Erica's sobbing into my pillow, clutching my stomach, wondering how I would survive it. Mary doubled up on her romance movies and I would lay and watch them with her like I was self harming, but she told me it was good to purge the tears. She said listen to sad music and watch sad movies and just let it all out, and then soon you won't have any tears left and the healing will begin. I don't think Mary was betting on me sobbing daily for months and becoming quite dehydrated by it.

Morgan took over our house together and wanted to take the mortgage on solo. I started the process for her legally and waited for it to complete for her, it was the least I could do to let her have anything she wanted, which included Bob. I knew Morgan still visited with the friends we shared, Calliope and Teddy still saw her, and on the odd Sunday I would miss the Nomikos feast so that Callie could invite Morgan. I was happy to share our collective group of family and friends, as long as I didn't have to see her in the flesh. I knew if I saw Morgan, as she did, that we wouldn't be able to actually make this separation permanent, we would continue to seek each other out and mess around. It was inevitable, that if our physical paths crossed, so would we, and luckily they didn't, because the pull was incredible painful to ignore.

Offers for the next year were coming in as I put myself out there for a transfer, a few colleges on the east coast wanted me over there but I didn't know if I wanted to move up to college level yet. I loved the high school environment and the kids were still an age you could teach them so much from scratch. College level felt like they knew it all already and all you had to do was polish them, and push them to do their best. I liked working up with the girls, seeing them grow and their skills build as the years passed. The last match on my profile was a high school in Manchester and it sounded perfect for me, a nice high school, a good team already in place. I had been following their games for a few months and was keen to fly out and check it out in person next month before I accepted. The east coast sounded perfect right now, a whole world away from all of the pain the west coast held for me. Two women I adored and loved, neither I could have, one my best friend who never even knew I loved her and the other the love of my adult life, the girl I really did think was it for me. I felt a little doomed to be honest, like I would never find the one, and perhaps I wouldn't, perhaps that was it, thoughts that plagued me when the night came.

Was I destined to be alone?!

I had no idea that Allie was on the way to Oregon, that with her came a declaration, news that I didn't see coming. Allie felt
Something for me, more than friendship. She was about to confess it for the first time. The tide was about to change, and life was about to take me on a new journey, a sometimes long and tiresome journey that felt like it would never meet its destination. A journey to Alberta, one I didn't ever think possible, and I wouldn't walk, I would run it, day by day I would run, as fast as I could hoping that the little dot on the distance and I would collide, sooner than later, and that Alberta Anderson, would finally, be mine.

***

"I forgot to say as you got in so late last night Willa... but Allie called" Erica reveals, and my heart thumps a little louder against my ribs.

"She did" I ask, and a sadness befalls me. I don't want the silence my absence is causing. I don't want to abandon her again. She calls every morning and night without fail and I know she knows I won't answer, but she does it I know, so I see the missed calls, and know she's thinking of me. I had huge changes coming up in my life and I wanted to tell her. I wanted to share it all with her. I would finally return her call tonight i made myself mentally note, not that I required any reminding. I couldn't bear the silence a moment longer.