Lost

Chapter 52

                          ELLIE JONES

I stand in front of the arrival gate watching as countless families, happy couples, and young children walk out, but I just cannot spot him. It's been 15 minutes of standing and waiting, and all the hope I had of seeing him starts to dwindle. I really thought that my luck had changed for the better and that I would have finally made the right choice.

Another 10 minutes, I tell myself. My heart has waited for over a month for this, I can wait a little while more. People walk past me, giving me strange looks. They must think I am crazy. They are not wrong, I think I am crazy, waiting here for someone who may not even show up. I even look crazy. But I have, unquestionably, no regrets and no shame for the way I am now.

5 minutes have passed and he is still nowhere in sight. 5 more minutes.

I pace around, trying to look just a little closer, just a little clearer. I refuse to believe that I chose wrongly.

2 more minutes.

My head tells me that I should leave. That it didn't work once, and it will not work the second time. My heart tells me that I should just wait another 2 minutes, that he will show up, that I have to have a little more faith.

1 more minute.

"Please. Please. Please." That is all I can say, holding my hands together as if in prayer. I wander a little close until my hands drop.

I finally see him walking a little closer, and thank god I followed my heart instead of my head. I walk towards him, hoping he doesn't cast me away again.

                      ISAIAH PHILIPS

I help push my mum's wheelchair out of the aircraft and walk over to get our luggage. One of the airport staff offers to help me with my mum as I carry all our baggage. It is a long, slow walk to the arrival gate and I am dreading it.

As we approach the gate, numerous people are blocking us, wanting to go out first. I tell the staff to push my mum aside first and wait until it's less crowded. After what felt like an hour, I grab our belongings and finally walk past the gate.

I drop our bags to the floor, seeing her. The person I longed so much to see. The familiar tear-stained face, curly blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and pale skin. She runs over to me barefoot and in a hospital gown, and I pull her into a much-needed embrace. I feel her tears stain my black shirt, her hands holding me like she never wants to let go, and her head buried deep into my chest. I inhale the sweet scent of her hair and kiss the top of her head. While we are in this position, it feels like everything around us has stopped, and nothing else can ever be more important. It is only by hugging her this close that I register in my heart and head, how much I miss her. But more than that, how much I yearned for her to just hold me. It was like the pieces of my heart were slowly mending, slowly stitching themselves up.

I need her so much more than I ever thought I do. I start to cry, letting all my worry, sadness, anger, and fear pour out. It felt relieving to let out such emotions, all the pent-up feelings that came with my mother's limited time on earth, and the pining to be with her, to be in her soft, gentle embrace, finally found their release.

                          ELLIE JONES

I run up to him, jumping into his arms, something I've wanted to do for so, so long, but never had the heart to admit. I weep into his shirt, his recognizable scent consumed me. He consumed me.

I pull away to see his face mirroring mine, his face just as tear-stained and broken as mine. Our tears shed are different, but in so many ways the same as well. I run my fingers over his tears, glad that he is finally opening up his heart to me, that I am finally able to see him uncaged. He holds my jaw, caressing my face as I lean into his touch. His eyes stared into mine and I can see the agony, anguish, terror, and contentment in his alluring green eyes, and I cannot begin to envision the amount of grief he has had to endure alone. I see a woman in a wheelchair from afar, waiting for him, and I irrevocably understand why he did everything.

Because all along, I thought the love he harbors for me is just an excuse for his uncertainty and fear. That he is a coward for giving me up, and love was just a mere excuse. But now I know that the love he has for me isn't an excuse, but a reason, and the only reason sacrificing me, for sacrificing us.

He pulls me in, our foreheads touching, and I know that this is where I belong. With him. It has always been him. It has always been him who accepted me for who I am, who I was. It has always been him who loved me unconditionally.

He might never provide me with the sweetness I thought Alfie possessed, and we will definitely wound one another again, but I couldn't ask for anyone else, anyone better. Because if there is one person I want to challenge fate with, It would be him, and only him.

                       ISAIAH PHILIPS

I hold her face close to mine, and everything makes sense, everything falls into place.

"I'm sorry for leaving you twice," I whisper. I have always known that she was the one I had met a decade ago. The shy, quiet, girl who was constantly bullied. The girl who was always there for me. Now I know why we were able to fall in love so quickly because we were already in love. It just took her a long time to discern Alfie and Alfie.

She laughs and pulls me in. As our lips collide, it felt like my world is finally complete. Our worlds finally found one another. We were made for each other, and no matter how much fate tries to pull us apart, we will always be Beaux and Alfie.

                          ELLIE JONES

All this time, I thought about how impossible it is to find the one. That love, is something that should be dictated by logic, and that my heart would only lead me astray. I thought that we were just unlucky, undestined.

But it turns out we are none of those things. We are both simply broken, hurt, and lost.

LOST