Gold Dust Widow: The Story of an Outlaw's Revenge

Chapter 36: Jasper

She was speechless. Her small frame was frozen, her eyes wide as she stared at my mother's ring. Her mouth opened and shut until she cleared her throat and looked back at me.

I had no idea how much time had passed since I asked her the question. She just seemed to flutter. My heart was hammering in my chest; I could feel a ball forming in my stomach, trying to force its way back up and out of me. My fingers itched to grab her again, my impatience swirling.

"Clara!" I snapped.

She gasped and looked at me, her eyes still wide.

"I can't accept that ring, Jasper," she stammered. I felt my heart still in my chest, my fingers tightening around the small jewellery box. She was shaking her head.

"Yes, you can," I answered, keeping my tone as calm as possible.

"Jasper, I'm no good. You deserve someone so much better than me," she insisted.

I stared back at her. Her light pink blouse, almost the same pink as her skin, cut low on her chest. Her long dark skirt, the belt wound around her waist, the holster where her pistol had been, discretely shoved into her skirts. Her locket rested against her breastbone, glinting in the candlelight. Tendrils of dark hair curled against her skin.

She was the one I wanted. There was no one else.

"No, I want to marry you," I told her. "Stop looking for excuses!"

"I'm not looking for excuses," she snapped back. "I just know, you deserve someone better than me!"

"Who?" I barked.

"I don't know," she snapped. "I don't deserve to be happy."

"I think you do," I murmured.

"I'm better off alone," she insisted.

"Don't talk to me about being alone," I growled back.

She huffed and squirmed.

I watched as she reached out and grasped the jewellery box. She lifted the ring out of the velvet cushion and gazed at it.

"It's very beautiful."

"It was my mother's. Now it's yours."

"Jasper," she moaned.

I stepped closer to her, gripping her shoulders, holding my hand up to cup her face, so she could look into my eyes.

"When I stepped into the saloon, and I saw you lying there, with Rhett Mealy on top of you, and I saw you struggling. I thought I was going to die. I realised that nothing really matters to me, nothing else matters, except you. And when I woke up, and you were gone, disappeared into the mountains, I could hardly bring myself to care for anything else. Because nothing matters when the person you love is gone."

Her breath hitched when I brought my lips down against hers. They were soft and warm. I pulled back almost immediately, the flush in her face bringing a small smile to my lips.

"I thought I knew better," I admitted. "But you're always in my thoughts since I first met you. I never minded being on my own; I never minded the loneliness that came with my job. But you broke that in me, Clara. You shattered that, and I can only think of you. And I can only search for you. I just want to be where you are. I want only you. I need you, Clara."

"What if I can't give you what you need," she asked, a fat tear trickling down her cheek. I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb quickly.

"You are exactly what I need. All of what I want."

She sniffed, her eyes brimming with more tears. "I missed you. I was afraid you were going to hate me for killing your brother," she mumbled. I wiped at her tears, her soft skin warming under my touch.