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angst - fem oc "Marianne"
(i was inspired by laurie's confession to jo in little women + i was listening to mazzy star while i wrote this)
tw: blood & some mentions of violence
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The patrol of Haguenau had been completed in less than twenty minutes. Fourteen men and one woman. One wounded.
Marianne scrubbed her hands vigorously in an attempt to rid herself of the blood from her friend. Her eyes stung with the weight of unshed tears but she reminded herself to remain composed. Jackson was hit by his own grenade blast, the side of his face paid the price. Luckily, the patrol brought along Marianne, East Company's only female combat medic. This patrol was her first real experience with close combat. Winters had usually reserved her from behind the lines, not out of malice or anything, just concern.
Marianne was great at her job, but that night with the patrol, her braveness was put to the test. Her mind had been rampant with all sorts of emotions like adrenaline, fear, and anger.
Yet, even amidst the explosions and volleying gunfire, she gained her senses and became serene.
Jackson would be alright. Marianne made quick work to attend to and treat his wounds. He was rushed to a makeshift hospital and now she could finally breathe.
Marianne stood up from the water pale on the ground and she squeezed the remaining water out of the towel in her hand. A sudden noise behind her prompted her to panic and drop the towel down on to the muddy earth.
"Marianne?" Captain Speirs inquired.
"Sir." She whipped around, finally realizing who it was behind her.
"I heard about Jackson, is he alright?" He asked, his hard gaze rested on Marianne. She nodded, feeling weary of how he looked at her.
Marianne had noticed a change in his demeanor ever since D-Day. They accidentally dropped in the same zone and spent nearly half of a day together, trying to find the paratroopers' camp. Ever since then, he had always lingered around her. Like a shadow. And with the stories that ran around the battalion, it felt even more eerie to Marianne when she was alone with him.
"Are you alright?" Speirs asked, taking a step forward.
"I am, sir." Marianne crossed her arms, becoming increasingly alert of their proximity.
Out of the blue, his hand lifted and hovered over her cheek. She took his hand in her own and brought it back to his side - stepping back from him.
"What are you doing, sir?" Marianne questioned, her eyebrows furrowed. She saw how his jaw clenched, clearly trying to say something but his body wouldn't allow it.
Marianne's eyes widened when she realized. He nodded, all but confirming her suspicion.
"No, Ron." She shook her head, her face flushed.
"It's no use, Marianne." Speirs reasoned, stepping closer again.
"No."
"I can't- damn it. I can't pretend anymore." He huffed, his eyes frantically searching her's for an answer. Marianne could tell that it had been eating away at him for quite some time.
"Hear me out-" Speirs said quieter as he saw two troopers walk down the street in the distance.
"Ron." She pleaded. Marianne had no time to think about pining after someone, especially when they were at war. She was there to do her duty and he was her superior. Being discharged for fraternization was at stake, Marianne would have no part in it, even with feelings put in the mix. But the rumors that she heard, with the German POWs and his fierceness, she had always shook off. There had to be a reason, right?
"I'm not good at expressing- fuck. You know I'm not good with this kind of stuff." Speirs started. "For years I've loved you. I've been quiet and I've kept it to myself, but I need to- please-"
Marianne bit her lip, suddenly aware of her incoming emotions. Confusion, anger, desire, guilt, shame- all of it.
"Just say something, Marianne." He mumbled, switching his presence from pleading to stoic after standing with her silence. "Give me an answer."
She crossed her arms as an abrupt cold chill surrounded her. Marianne felt something towards Ronald Speirs, but she couldn't. She just couldn't.
"I'm so sorry, Ron." Marianne whispered, closing her eyes. "But I cannot give you what you seek."
"Cannot or will not?" He said, frustration bubbling to the surface.
"You know I can't, Ron." Her heart ached. Her head lowered. "Not here, not now."
Speirs stood there, his gaze left her and went to the dark horizon. His energy visibly changed.
Marianne felt sick to her stomach as she watched him deflate before walking away. His distant silhouette haunted her for many nights.
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a/n: lemme know if i should do a part two, there could be a potential heartbreak (more than what happened here) or a sappy and endearing ending that we all want ;)
also: if you have any requests, please feel free to lmk! i'd be happy to write them to life!
