Madawa

6

Saman's phone buzzed in her bag. She halfheartedly ignored it. She feared if there was an emergency at home but where she lived, a public bus didn't seem like the safest place to use mobile phones—especially since her last one was stolen right from her hands with a gun pointed to her forehead in this very bus. When the bus halted at her stop, she hurried outside and briskly walked another 15 minutes to reach her apartment. She checked her phone while climbing the stairs, only to be relieved to find out that the missed call wasn't from home. Her heart skipped a beat when she found out who if was from though. It was a missed Google Meet call from him.

Lost in her thoughts, she slid the phone in her bag and went inside her house. She strolled through the living room, making her way to her brother's room. She opened the door and found her brother sleeping. She panicked. It was an odd time for him to be sleeping. She made her way inside and placed her hand on his shoulder. At the same time she realized he had earphones in. He was listening to something. He opened his eyes and she let out an evident sigh of relief. He took off his earphones and said with a laugh, "you look like you've seen a ghost,

"Main Surah Rahman sun raha tha. I read somewhere ke usse beemar ko shifa milti hai," he added. "But I'm not sure laachaar ke liye bhi faidemand hai ya nahi," he continued. She took a deep breath in. He was having one of those days when he felt helpless and useless.

"Pehli baat, aap laachaar nahi hain. Dusri baat Surah Rahman Allah ka Kalaam hai. Allah sab ko unke hisse ki Shifa deta hai," she calmly told him.

She spent the next hour sitting by him, talking to him, making him feel better. He was eight years older than her and they had always shared a parent-child kind of a relationship but ever since the accident, it felt like she was 10 years older than him.

Her phone buzzed again. It was him again. She silenced her phone.

"Kiski call hai?" Her brother asked.

She shook her head, "koi nahi, marketing," she replied. "Chalein main fresh hokar aati hoon," she added before getting up.

Once she was in her room, she checked her phone. She had a missed call and a couple of messages. She opened the messages notification.

I know this goes against everything we had decided but I'm Maher. I live in Canberra. I'm a lawyer by profession. I'm 28 years old. I did my schooling from Beaconhouse...I'm not sure how that's relevant but whatever. I don't know your name but I want to change that. We made the 'no identities' rule when we were kids. Let's pretend it doesn't exist because I want to know you...Chanda. Please reply to my messages. Please attend my call. Please talk to me.

She could feel her heart race in the temples of her head and the tips of her fingers. She didn't even have a chance to comprehend the text when her phone rang again. This time, she picked it up without a second thought.

"Hello?" A deep voice said from the other end of the line. She didn't reply. Her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest. She didn't want to admit it but she knew why.

"Hey," she finally replied after what seemed like ages of silence; surprisingly not the awkward kind though.

"Thank God," he muttered under his breath but loud enough for her to hear. "Listen, forget whatever Shahid told your friend. He's an idiot. Let's just start over." He added, now in a normal voice.

"Me," she mumbled.

"Hmm?" He asked, confused.

"Shahid told me," she corrected. "I lied to him, just to keep my identity hidden. Ironic, considering where that got me," Saman let out a light chuckle.

Maher could feel his muscles relax as he heard her chuckle.

"I'm Saman." She finally introduced herself. "Meray paas koi itni haseen bio nahi hai, lawyer Canberra types. I'm just Saman, from Karachi." She added with another chuckle. It surprised even her how cool she was talking to him. Maher realized that she had a unique, very distinctive voice. It was kind of hoarse but it sounded soft and calming at the same time. It was not at all unpleasant and that's what made it so unique.

"You're enough." He mindlessly replied before clearing his throat. "T-that's enough," he quickly added. He mouthed "what?!" at himself for being so corny.

Saman frowned but didn't respond to it. "I have to go, Allah hafiz." She said in a single breath.

"Saman," he called out. Her name in his voice made her feel like she hadn't felt in a long time. It made her feel alive. "We'll talk later?" He made it sound like a question.

She didn't reply for a moment. Guilt took over and reality struck her like lightning does to a tree. It burned the life out of her and hollowed her out all of a sudden. What am I doing? How can I feel happy? She asked herself. I have responsibilities, I can't entangle myself in this. She stayed quiet for what seemed like eternity to Maher. "Saman?" He called her again.

"Hm, inShaAllah" she monotonously replied before disconnecting the call.

Maher couldn't understand what just happened. One moment everything was perfect and the other , it fell apart. Did I say something wrong? Was all that he could ask him. He stood by the window and slid a cigarette between his lips inhaling the poison. He replayed their conversation over and over again in his head but he couldn't come up with a single thing that could have made her upset.

Saman stayed awake that night. She could feel herself falling for Maher. They had known each other for over a decade and she was falling for him... probably at the worst time possible.

**

A few days passed and after an initial couple of calls that Saman missed, Maher stopped calling her altogether. He didn't want to annoy her. He had also sent messages to which Saman didn't respond to. She didn't want to get involved with him and more than she already was. She presumed it wouldn't end well for either of them.

**

Maher pressed his temples together, hard. His headache won't go away. He had planned a visit to the doctor's but he keeps moving it to the next business day since couldn't fit it in his schedule. Today was exceptionally painful. The throbbing won't stop and he had a mountain of case files to go through. He popped a couple of painkillers before getting back to work.