I was pretty sure we drove around three hours before we finally hit rain. And then a little after that, we finally hit a storm. It was a bad one. Ryan had to pull over on the side of the road because we couldn't see. He turned the car off, stopping the windshield wipers. The rain beat against the roof, making it impossible to hear anything else. Lightning lit up the sky, thunder crashing almost immediately after.
Ryan reached behind him into the backseat and came back with my blanket. Silently, he unfolded it and draped it over me before lifting the middle console between us and holding his arm out to me. I quickly unbuckled and moved over, curling into his arms.
"Better?" he softly asked.
I nodded. "Thank you for driving me here."
He pressed his lips to the top of my head. "If a storm is what you need, sweet girl, then I'll always take you to one, no matter how far I have to drive."
I rested my ear right over his heart, listening to the rapid way it beat before it slowed some, calming itself. "You're too good for me," I said softly.
He hummed. "I think you haven't had enough good, Anna." He slowly rubbed his hand up and down my arm over the blanket. "I'll never stop giving you all the good that I can."
My chest tingled at his sweet, gentle words.
~*~*~
I yawned, slowly opening my eyes when the truck shut off. After rubbing my eyes, I looked around me, taking note that we were back home. The rain had followed us, and at some point on the ride home, I must have fallen asleep.
"Stay there. Let me get the umbrella," he ordered.
I yawned again and nodded my head, sitting up straight now. He reached into the backseat, grabbed the umbrella, and then hopped out the truck, rushing around to my side as he got it open. Once he had my door open, he placed the umbrella so it would keep me dry, and then tucked me against his side, keeping me covered as he led me to the house.
"I won't met, you know," I lightly teased once we were on the porch and he'd closed the umbrella.
He chuckled. "Not worried about you melting, sweet girl. I'm more worried about you getting a taste of the rain and deciding to follow it wherever it goes."
I reached out and touched his arm. His tone had been light and teasing as well, but I'd heard the undercurrent of concern and seriousness there, too.
He slowly turned his head to look at me, a frown pulling at his lips when he took note of the serious expression on my face. "What is it, sweet girl?"
"You know I'd never do that, right?" I drew in a deep breath. "I won't leave, Ryan."
He reached out and drew me into a hug, crushing me in his strong arms. I sighed in contentment, resting my head on his chest as I wound my arms around his torso. "I worry, Anna," he said quietly. "I worry about you so, so much."
I gripped his shirt in my fists, squeezing as much as my little body would allow me to. "I'm going to get help," I quietly told him. Tears burned in my eyes. "Losing Ross will never hurt less. The pain will just be something I learn to live with." A shuddered breath escaped my hurting lungs. "But I can't keep living like this, and I can't keep making you live with the constant worry of coming home and finding me gone one day."
He audibly gulped at the mental image that no doubt popped into his mind. His arms flexed around me. "I can't lose you too, Anna."
I pressed a kiss to his chest. "And I won't make you," I whispered.
I don't know how long we stood like that for, but eventually, it began to storm, lighting flashing across the darkening sky, thunder following in its wake, shaking us both to our bones. But we still didn't move.
Something was happening, changing, shifting. I could feel it with every drop that hit the roof of this house.
I missed Ross so much, it was a physical ache inside my chest that never went away. But somehow, the shattered pieces of my heart had started yearning for someone else, too. Someone I had absolutely no business wanting like that.
Ryan Vern.
Maybe God hated me.
Because how was I still hurting over one man I would never get to love like I want to again, and then turn around and begin falling for his older brother?
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my tears to stay in my eyes.
Ryan couldn't stand to lose me... well, I couldn't stand to lose him, either.
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