Jax angst (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Chapter 9

"I-I can't d-do this anymore" I managed to say before I passed out, probably from hyperventilating

I was haunted with nothing but that moment he abstracted while I was asleep

The moment i ran away like a fucking coward

The moment i lost the only one that cared for me, the only one i cared for

Homo? Maybe but he won't accept he's gay yet so sHuT uP, also y'all let me know if u want to read a ship between them and I'll make a lil non-canon chapter💅💅

"I got a key to his room" i said over and over and over again

"You shouldn't have keys to anyone's room!"Ragatha said over and over and over

I wonder if I could've done anything to prevent it. If I hadn't ran away like a bitch, maybe he'd still be here, not locked away with monsters

If I could stop being such a coward, maybe he'd still be here

If I could stop fucking up, maybe he'd still be here

If he went crazy? How close am I to losing it? He's the whole reason I started looking for an exit, I thought he was onto something. I thought, he wouldn't have gone insane for nothing.

But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he really was crazy. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe him abstracting was meant to be a warning for me to not find an exit. And I was too fucking stupid to realize

I miss him. He was my only friend, the only one that tolerated me. At least, I'd like to think he liked me even. I enjoyed being in his presence. But I'll never be in his presence ever again.

TiMe SkIp (brought to you by the Omori OST🙏🙏)

"JAX" I heard as I groggily opened my eyes

"Yea?" I said in reply

"Thank god, you're actually alive!" I heard someone who sounds like ragatha say

"Why wouldn't I be" I said, trying to scoff loud enough for whoever to hear

"Well, I saw you running to your room yesterday and you never came out of it today, so I was making sure you were fine!" A voice, definetly ragathas, said

"Yea I'm fine and dandy, you can leave now" I replied

"You're sure you're fine?" She asked again

"Yup I'm BLEepInG fine, now leave" I said, fairly rudely

"O-ok" she said before I heard her walk away

"I'm not going to leave my room, I'll stay here, there's plenty to do" I told myself

"Like what? Go insane?" My other half said

I just ignored him, he doesn't need to make an appearance until I leave my room, and that isn't right now

"Hmmmmm" I said out loud after awkwardly sitting in silence for 10 minutes

Maybe I should just sleep? Yea that seems easy enough

So I just closed my eyes and sleep overtook me rapidly, which is odd because all I've been doing is sleep for the last few days

I awoke in the room with the purple door, and I was the crying child  (FNAF REFERENCE) i had seen when I first entered the purple room, and who I became when I passed out. I didn't hear anything outside the door, so I was assuming I was alone. I took this time to examine what I looked like in the mirror, as I hadn't gotten a chance yet

I was white, not too pale, but not tan by any means, just white. I had pretty dark brown hair, that fell right around my ears and had slight waves to it. I had hazel eyes, almost a yellowish color.

It would make a lot of sense if the circus made our avatars from what we looked like in real life, because this is pretty much spot on.

I really wanted to leave my room and
Explore. But I was worried if my... dad? Will be out there. I really don't want to get yelled at again. I don't like being yelled at

And then it hit me. I'm free. I'm out of the circus. Or- at least until I wake up, but I can always go back to sleep. But one person can only sleep so much. I'll find a way to sleep more, I've got to if I want to keep coming here

Plus my room here is way nicer than the one there. I've got posters hung up all around the walls, it's what I always wanted my room to be like at the circus

I hope the others will figure it out eventually, but I'm happy right here, and I can't risk Caine finding out that I know some of my past life

I feel like I'm finally happy. As long as my dad doesn't come back. I wonder how old I am? Am I still in school? God I really hope I don't have to go to school, I don't remember anything

It'll be alright, if I do end up going to school I can just wake up. It's not an issue. I then decided to test out my bed. And it was so unbelievably comfortable, like I would just pass out right then and there. So I did, I fell asleep

And I awoke back at the circus. Alright note to self, don't fall asleep in dream world.

I decided it would probably be best if I left my room or greet the others, or they might get worried. I could hear the music so that meant it wasn't night, and it wasn't early morning either, so I probably slept for a lot of the day

I gathered my bearings, took a deep breath, put on my large smile, and left my room

Alr so this one was also kinda short😭 it took me a while to finish, so sorry abt that. I'm going to get the next one out most likely after thanksgiving, but if I get a sudden burst of energy it could be beforehand. Idk how long the next one will be, but I hope y'all enjoyed this one