The Love That Could Have Been

EPILOGUE

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

CAELUM

It has been a year since Sky left. That afternoon on the bridge, when he said that he was sleepy, I knew that his time to leave had already come. And when they passed out, I already knew that he had already left-that my Sky had left me again and he already left me completely. At first, I didn't want to accept it. I felt so broken and alone. Ever since he died that night, I've been missing him and craving his presence every single day. That's why I was very delighted when I got to feel him once more.

When I first saw Dawn on the elevator that day in the hospital, I couldn't describe it but I felt his presence in her. And I felt it even more when I saw her bracelet which is very similar to what I gave to my Sky back then. I thought to myself that there must have been a reason why the world allowed me to meet her. And so, I tried my best to approach her and even introduced her to Avery. Sometimes, I could notice the resemblances between Sky and her that would sometimes make me wonder if it is possible. If it is really possible for my Sky to come back through her. Because if it is, I would trade everything just to touch him and feel his presence again. I love him so much and I have always loved him since the first time I laid my eyes on him.

I can still remember that day and I can't help but smile whenever I remember it. It was in elementary school but we aren't in the same section together. Rochester was trying to make fun of me for having no father and this cute-looking boy stepped in the way and stood up for me, opposing his friend and telling him that what he was doing was not right. Ever since that day, I would try to sit near their table in the cafeteria and catch a glimpse of him every now and then. He looks so out of place whenever he's with his guy friends that I just sometimes want to pull him away from them and enjoy him all to myself. At least with me, I'll ensure that he'd always feel safe. But I simply couldn't do that, he even doesn't know me. I was just a simple boy back then in elementary and I tried to constantly improve myself to catch his attention. Sometimes, I would also wait by the gates of the school to see his face. But still, I haven't had the courage to approach him. Not until we reached high school.

It was a Saturday afternoon and I was riding my bike on my way to my cousin's house when I saw him walking by the Orion River. I know that it was somehow stalkerish but I couldn't resist following him so I got off my bike and slowly trail behind him from afar. He headed to the riverbank, strolling and enjoying the view of the river. He looks so cute and sweet as he observes the scenery. But the next thing that happened was something that I wasn't expecting. He slipped from a rock and fell into the water. I was so anxious when I didn't see him rise from the water immediately. That's why I felt the need to come to his aid. My heart was thumping so loud in my chest when I was giving him the resuscitation. Luckily, I succeeded.

After that incident and to my delight, we already began interacting more in class. We began sharing notes, helping each other do our homework, and teaming up on group projects. During weekends, we'd sometimes hang out at our place whenever my mom was at work. I even introduced him to my younger sister. Other times, we'd hang out at their house whenever his parents were not around. But above all, our favorite place to hang out was the Orion Memorial Bridge. We'd often talk about random things in life there, sharing our worries, burdens, and problems. And every day, my feelings for him grew stronger and deeper to the point that when we accidentally hugged each other when he got into the debate club of Pleiades, I immediately tried to turn my back away because I was so nervous that he would see right through me. I'm not yet ready to risk what I already have with him that day.

The last night at their house before he died, I was surprised when he suddenly sang while we were playing the melody that we composed. It was as if he was tapping me and telling me something with the song. That was the time that I began to question myself if there was a possibility-a possibility for Sky to like me too. And I felt utterly shocked when he kissed me that night. I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest and I couldn't resist kissing him back with my love, passion, and desire for him. God, I badly wanted to touch him that night. But unfortunately, shit happened. And I totally understand why his father reacted that way. I tried to reach for him all night even though I already had an idea that his parents confiscated his devices. But I was really worried about him.

That night, when he said he was going to the restroom, I attempted to follow him after some time but I didn't see him there. That's when Avery and I started to get worried about him and tried contacting him but we remembered that he doesn't have his phone with him. So instead, Avery contacted his parents and found out that he also wasn't at the house yet. That's the time that I started to feel really anxious and almost searched all around the city looking for him. I went to the places where we often go to. I even went to the riverbank and the Orion Memorial Bridge that night but still, I didn't see him. His parents started getting worried too and began contacting the authorities. And it was only until the next day that they got a report that there was a floating body of a guy by the Orion River near the banks. At first, I was confident and hopeful that it wasn't Sky. It cannot be Sky. My Sky cannot leave me. He won't. But all my hopes were shattered when I saw the bracelet. The moon bracelet that I gave Sky. And there, I broke down while carrying his lifeless body. Not even being able to tell him how much I love him.

The jeweler told me that there's only a pair of that bracelet and the other one was bought long ago by a girl named Amanda. And it was only until then that everything made sense. The girl who bought the bracelet was Sky's Ma and she gifted it to her brother back then. That's why Dawn also has the same bracelet. And it was the bracelet that enabled Sky and Dawn to connect with each other. And that's why Sky was able to come back to me even just for a while.

During the times that I felt Sky's presence in Dawn, I felt myself subtly becoming livelier than I was during the first few days after his death. I got back to doing the things that I love. I was even able to finally play the song that we composed again. And during our preparations for the tournament, I was very eager because I wanted to dedicate my award to him. But things got out of control when we heard from Dawn about the possible murder of Sky by Rochester. I was so furious that time to the fact that I got disqualified from the tournament. But to be honest, I couldn't even care less anymore as long as I beat the crap out of that guy.

When I heard from Avery about what happened with Dawn and Sky, I was surprised at first but I did believe it. Because I could totally feel something different about Dawn during those times. It was as if I could really see Sky through her sometimes. And that is exactly what happened when I saw them on the bridge that morning before the tournament. I saw Sky. And that is also what happened when we planned to set up Omer and when we said our last goodbyes to each other. All I could see was Sky. And I fucking miss him so much.

Unfortunately, even though how much we wanted everything to work out and for our love that could have been to happen, life-and death-simply wouldn't just allow them to. That's why Sky had to leave. He had to leave me again. And he had to leave me completely. But if there's anything, at least my Sky could finally rest himself in peace. And we can all move forward with our lives while carrying the lessons that Sky had taught us in our hearts. That's why I stood here today along with Avery and Dawn who is now a Finnegan and in a relationship with her girlfriend Emily for over 8 months already. We are back in the place where the story of Sky and I began. In the riverbanks by the Orion River. So that we can finally set Sky free and give him the peace that he deserves.

My fingers traced patterns on the urn before I opened the lid. I took a deep breath before releasing the ashes into the gentle breeze, watching as they got carried away by the current.

"Here, by the river that became a witness of our love," I whispered, the words a farewell to a love that would forever be a part of me. "I set you free, Sky. May it carry you to places where our souls find solace."

Farewell, my Sky.

I love you.