What. The. Fuck. (Aka a person wakes up as Haruno Sakura)

A Dangerous Mission! Journey to the Land of Waves

"Sasuke here at Point B!" "Sakura here at Point C!" ... "Naruto here. I'm at Point A!" "You're slow, Naruto! Okay, Squad Seven... Hm?! A silhouette of a cat could be seen jumping off of a tree "The target has moved! Follow it!" The three of you peek out from behind some trees. "All right! It's over there!" Naruto stated making the three of you move in closer to the cat still hiding behind trees so the cat won't see you. "What's your distance from the target?" Kakashi asked. "Five meters! I can go at anytime!" Naruto said "I'm ready, too!" Sasuke stated "Me, too!" You said. "Okay... Do it!" And just like that all three of you jumped at the cat with Naruto grabing it. "I got him!"

Naruto yelled. However the cat started to attack him so you quickly took the cat from him, and it immediately calmed down and relaxed in your arms. "Does he have the ribbon on his right ear? Are you sure it's our target Tora?" Kakashi asked. "It's the target, no mistake." Sasuke replied. "All right, the mission to capture lost pet Tora is complete!" "Isn't there a mission with a greater sense of urgency?!" Naruto shouted though the earpeace scaring the shit out of everybody and hurting their ears.

At the Hokage's building

"Ohhh! My cute Tora! I was worried to death!" A fat lady with a lot of rings and makeup on was squeezing the cat Tora way to tightly causing him to strugel to get out of her grip shouted. The lady is the wife of the Land of Fire's Daimyo(Feudal Lord). Her name is Madame Shijimi. "Serves him right, that stupid cat!" Naruto said. 'What's wrong with this lady? She's suffocating her cat.' "Uh miss I believe that the reason that your cat keeps running away is that you hold him too tightly, you see." You adjusted the ladies grip on her cat so that it wasn't hurting him anymore and the cat to relax into her grip. "Ah, why thank you little girl." You nodded before walking back next to Naruto.

"Now, then! The next mission for Kakashi's Squad Seven is... An errand to the neighboring town to babysit the Chief Councilor's boy... Helping with digging for potatoes, -" But before the hokage could finish Naruto interupted him yelling "Nooooo! No! No, thank you!" Naruto crossed his arms into an X. "As for me, I want to do like a more exciting mission! Give us something else!" Naruto shouted. 'He's got a point.' Sasuke thought. 'If I was in Naruto's place I'd be like that too, but because of my medical lessons I get to skip a lot of missions. The only reason why I'm here now is because Nohara-San was sick.'

You were quite shocked when you found out Rin's mother was the one who was going to be teaching you medical Ninjutsu. 'I figured it was about time he started getting fretful.' Kakashi thought. "You fool! You're still bottom rookie! At the start, everyone moves up the ladder by gaining experience from simple missions!" Iruka shouted at Naruto. "B-But! It's been nothing but blah missions so far!" Naruto shouted back before getting hit in the back of the head by Kakashi causing him to fall to the ground. "Knock it off!"

"Naruto!" The hokage shouted "It's necessary to explain to you what a mission is. Listen to me! Requests pour into the village every day. They range from babysitting to assassinations. A wide spectrum of requests are recorded on the request list... They are separated into A, B, C, and D ranks in order of difficulty. In the village, everyone below me is divided up by ability in the order of Jonin, Chunin, and Genin. We at the highest level distribute the requests as missions to Ninjas who have abilites that suit said mission. And, if the mission is successful, we are compensated by the client. Nevertheless, you guys have just become Genin. Rank D is about the best you can do. Hmm?!"

It was just then that the hokage realized that no one was paying any attention to him as they were more focesed in listening to Naruto talk about his lunch. "Yesterday's lunch was pork-bone broth noodles, so today will be miso broth..." "Listen!" The hokage shouted. "I-I'm sorry." Kakashi said "Maaaan! You always lecture me old man! But i'm not that little prankster that you think I am! Humph!" 'Man, i'm going to get scolded later.' Kakashi thought. 'This kid who could only express himself with pranks...' The hokage thought. "Okay, fine! If you insist. I'll have you do a Rank C mission. You will be bodyguards for someone." "Really?! Who? Who? A feudal lord?! Or, a princess?!" "Don't get so hastly. I'll introduce you now! Could you please come in?" Everyone turned towards the door.