Parasite

Part 4: It Sucks to Suck

            I was grateful for the whir of the car and the inviting breeze against my silky smooth eyelashes. They all contributed to me being free and my own woman, not weighed down by the oppressive fist of my parents. Freedom, freedom, freedom! It was within reach if only I could extend my finger an inch more–

            "Violet, I didn't take you for one that took risks like that," Noah says, crudely making me jolt forward, rocking the car. He clutches the cushion as if his life depended on it. "Sis!"

            His presence had alluded my mind. It was outside my usual atmosphere. Whoosh.

            Apologizing wouldn't be a great strategic move. An unofficial reason was thanks to me not owing him one. Realistically, It boiled down to two reasons: 1) I was unsure if my brother had ulterior motives, and 2) I still hated his guts. So, it wouldn't accomplish anything. There was also awkward tension between us (I'll take the credit for this one. Forcing my brother to tag along didn't add any points to my brilliance book). Anytime I snuck a fugitive peek at him, he had his hands on his lap and a quizzical look adorning the sleek, unshaven face he'd grown into like he was on his way to discovering quantum physics. I got sweaty trying to come up with a solution to the problem my little brother caused, which, don't forget, cost me two weeks of my social life. My weight skyrocketed, and I haven't dropped to my freshman numbers, another streak across his teeth-grinding record.

            A blank five minutes went by like the slow rotation of a grandfather clock. Right, left, right, and left. No one uttered a sound. But that was about to change; I would make sure of it. "Listen, I didn't drag you out of your Dungeons & Dragons game because I like you. To put it bluntly, I hate you. You're like a rodent underneath my foot," I take a sharp breath, "Something I'll squish with little force. After you sabotaged me, you know the misery I endured?"

            He stares straight ahead, and neither one of us makes eye contact. "Pshh, act like you're any better than me." He rests his chin on the seatbelt. "Your only friend is Erika."

            "We're not talking about me. You ruined me!" I gasp, checking the mile markers flying by. "And please, we both know you don't have friends." I resorted to using cheap shots but hitting someone low was another specialty of mine. 

             Noah punches my shoulder, "Brittany."

            "Isn't she that girl that liked you but stopped liking you because you never made a move?" I switch lanes, giving a satisfied smirk. He couldn't come back from this. I flattened him like a steamroller or, more appropriately, like the woman who played with his heart. But in all reality, I wouldn't have minded her being my sister-in-law; she was gorgeous. But, more importantly, we got along. "She friend-zoned you, eh?"

            "Says the girl with a fat crush on Zander, sound familiar?" He barely raises his voice above a meek whimper. "You and I aren't so different."

            Crap. Noah got me with that jab, another carefully timed blow to my self-confidence. For better or worse, it got me thinking. Was this my fault? Had I become so fixated on Noah that I had neglected myself? It was quite a dizzying realization. "We're different." I huff, swallowing the saliva that sits idly in my throat. "I'm me, and you're you; we couldn't be more different."

            He wags his finger dramatically, like that of an electrifying maestro. "Eh, not a definite reason. It seems like you're trying to reassure yourself of something that's not as bad as you think." Noah cranks the chair back until his feet are on the dashboard. "Im Leugnen."