Tales of the Heart✅

Chapter 9|a place called home II

To those who comment, you're motivating me and it's what's keeping me going🤍

Imaan (16 years old)

Kano.

Amaani and I got to meet Zainab and Ikilima's fiancés. Both were nice, Zainab's was a married man while Ikilima's was young. That night Abba gave us each a box with several ankara fabrics, laces and materials, we also got shoes and bags of matching designs but different colours, he gave us more for Lina and even a few for Munee, her mother and Daddy. We were most appreciative and expressed our gratitude.

On our last night in Kano, Umma singled me out, requesting that I come to her room. Amaani encouraged me to go and made a texting gesture with her hand and phone. I got the message loud and clear.

Text me if there's trouble.

That was what she meant.

When I got into Umma's room the woman was deeply engrossed in her thoughts.

"Salaam, Umma I'm here." I began, twisting my fingers in a display of nerves.

"A'ishatu," her voice cracked as she said my name, she raised her head up and I found tears streaming down her face. Worried, my legs took me to her instinctively. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you in the past, I'm ashamed, I'm so ashamed of myself for treating a young child who lost a parent the way I did." I let her hold both my hands in hers as she wept. "At first I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought the love Alhaji had for your mother was going to be transferred to you, he wanted to marry her way before she got married to her first husband but Allah's plans are different from ours sometimes. Inna and I knew, even before they got married I was jealous of her, I was more jealous of her than I was of Inna who was his own wife at that time. I was blinded by the envy I felt towards her that when he married her I wished death upon myself. When she gave birth to you I felt overwhelmed with grief." She paused, letting me take it all into my head.

She helped me sit beside her without letting go of my hands, "I taught my children to hate you and your mother, A'ishatu I competed with you over Alhaji's attention. I made sure he didn't have time for you, didn't think too much about his orphaned daughter. I behaved like a witch all in the name of jealousy. I thought I was going to feel better, lightheaded after you left but any and every happiness I felt over you leaving was short lived. I regretted my actions before you moved out of the country but I was too ashamed of myself and you were too young to understand." She sniffed loud and hard. "A'ishatu I prayed hard to my Lord to forgive me and to let me see you one last time and beg for your forgiveness before I leave this world, I would grovel, I'm not above anything."

Then she went down on her knees with her hands in mine and her face ravaged with tears. "Forgive me A'isha, forgive me my dear child."

I felt tears stream down my own face as I went down with her, "there's nothing to forgive Umma," my own voice came out in sobs.

I was finding it hard to wrap around my head that this was Umma, the Umma of my childhood.

"I need to hear you say the words and then I'll feel better. I know it's too much to ask but please and please A'ishatu na." She sobbed noisily.

With a nod, several nods I worded out the words from the deepest part of my heart, "I forgive you Umma, forgive me too for everything I did wrong."

"There's nothing to forgive, your mother would have been so proud of you. You're still young but there's so much wisdom in you. May Allah bless you A'ishatu."

"Ameen ameen Umma. Thank you for everything."

"No, thank you A'ishatu, thank you very much." She gave me one last squeeze, wiped my tears away before moving to the bathroom to right herself.