UNDEAD BECOMES HER, wednesday addams

v. kicking the oxygen habit

The next morning, it took several minutes of Francis pecking at her exposed intestines to wake Ollie up. She'd forgotten to pull the comforter up after Wednesday had left, which meant that Francis was trying to have himself a little snack while he thought she wouldn't notice. 

She pulled the Hello Kitty water dispenser out from under her desk and set it on top of the wood, rumpling a poem she'd been writing that was sort of about cannibalism and sort of about Wednesday. The weekly water flavor was mineral water, provided by Ms. Thornhill's generosity and understanding.

Ollie had to carry a water bottle around with her all day to rehydrate, as she was feeding several plants that all needed their own water supply. Her daily lake dunk was enough to tide her over until lunch, usually, but sometimes it didn't. 

She wasn't really feeling like food, though, and went to the hives to have a spot to think quietly. Unfortunately, Eugene and Wednesday were already there, looking at Jeffrey Dahmer's future plans moodboard. 

"That's cool," she said, Francis clacking his beak in agreement. "What is that?"

"All the information I have on the monster's victims," Wednesday said. "Enid said I couldn't keep it in our room. The monster seems to be collecting trophies as well. It's human, and it's surgically removing body parts. It would be fascinating if it weren't so irritating."

"Well, if I get murdered by this thing, it'll have a shitty trophy. Also, if I get murdered, will you avenge me?"

"You won't get murdered," Wednesday said dismissively, giving Ollie a once-over.

"I'll avenge you," Eugene said.

"Thank you, Eugene. You always have my back. I'll avenge you, too."

"You two sicken me," Wednesday muttered. "Ollie, I have a...stupid question to ask you."

"I love stupid questions. They're the only kind I can understand the first time they're asked. But I doubt any question you ask will be stupid."

"Hold your tongue and think before you speak. Are you going to the Rave'N dance tonight?"

Ollie let out a sharp laugh before she could help it. "Are you kidding? I'd probably get kicked out. No, I probably wouldn't even be allowed in. I always ruin everything for everyone. On top of that, I'm literally infested with plants and insects. I'm disgusting."

"You are not disgusting," Wednesday rebuked, eyes narrowed. "You are an incredible specimen and an impressive magic user. You can passively funnel magic into another creature- it doesn't even require conscious thought. Anyone who thinks you are anything less than fascinating is a fool."

After a couple seconds of mentally picking the words apart, Ollie nodded. "Yeah, maybe. Still doesn't change what everyone thinks about me. I'm a few shades away from being blacklisted. Unofficially uninvited, if you will. Are you going?"

"I was forced to ask someone as a cover for my thievery," Wednesday said disdainfully, gesturing towards the rather creepy monster drawings. "Xavier."

"Oh, he's nice. Not a super great dancer, but could be worse. Kind of whiny, though. Lots of pros and cons. I made a list."

"You made a list," the goth girl repeated.

"You seem to repeat a lot of things I say. I make a list of the pros and cons of all the people I consider asking out. Most of the things I disliked about him were his moodiness and general emotional unavailableness. If you want to borrow the list-?"

"Thank you, but no thank you. I will be getting rid of this date as quickly as possible. Now, if you'll excuse me, Eugene and I were just about to leave."

"Alright. See you around. Don't get eaten without me." Ollie slapped Francis off of her shoulder and headed towards the conservatory, hoping to beg Ms. Thornhill to let her spend the night there again this year.

A sharp rapping sound on the window woke her from her power nap. She had special accommodations for her affliction, one of which was the ability to leave class for rest. Her English teacher was the only hardass about it, thankfully. 

Ollie said, "Push it open."

The window was pushed open and Thing crawled in.

"I'm really tired, so if you could write down what you want to say, that'd be great. Thanks, dude." She closed her eyes and drifted off.

She dreamt she was sleeping in a forest, with beautiful wildflowers growing from her scars. Moss filled the lonely parts of her soul, and ferns grew in the pit of her stomach where fear used to live.

And then Thing crawled onto her face and woke her up again. He shoved a piece of stock paper between her lips and then crawled away.

"Thanks, dude," she mumbled, taking the paper. It was hard to read for a moment, and she had to squint until her eyes focused. Her vision was getting worse and worse as the fungus crept into her eye sockets and blocked the receptors.

It was a note from Wednesday of all people, in elegant handwriting. Her brain was too muddled to properly process the wordplay, so it simply translated the note as, I'd like to go to the dance with you tonight. 

"No," Ollie groaned. "The one person- one of four people- I wouldn't be able to turn down. I was looking forward to sleeping for seventeen hours."

Francis clacked his beak, as if to say, like any of them would ask you. 

"Well, one of them just did, so suck on that. And I can't take you, even though you're all white and match the theme. Shit, do I even have a dress?" She hauled herself out of bed and stumbled over to her closet, briefly losing her vision altogether as she did so. And for the cheap price of low iron, you too can see in shrimp colors!

It was a strange quirk of the online communities she was a part of- the tendency to call everything humans couldn't do, but other animals could, a shrimp ability. Seeing in a wider spectrum of colors? Shrimp colors. Hearing a wider decibel range? Shrimp hearing. 

Ollie opened the closet. "When did this get in here?"

Francis flew over and landed on the hangar, pecking on a Post-It note on the shoulder of the dress. 

"Great, more reading," Ollie mumbled, taking the note and reading it. "Wait, my mom sent me a dress for last year's Rave'N? Why didn't I wear it? Why don't I remember that?" Francis cocked his head. "Right, yeah, out of sight, out of mind. It's not like I was going anyway. I was really sad back then. I mean, I'm still sad, but now I'm carbon neutral, so it evens out."

She reached out and took the coat hanger, mentally thanking Thing for the note that Wednesday probably wasn't going to send. Francis bobbed his head in encouragement.

"Well," she said quietly. "Time to see what all the fuss for this dance is about."