Rayonnante - Paul Lahote

Chapter 18

They'd spent a long time just holding each other, as if almost trying to convince themselves that the events of today were in the past, that their relationship was still strong. In fact, for the first few minutes, Paul was convinced that he would've been physically unable to detach himself from Lena even if he'd been ordered to. A part of his brain simply wouldn't allow it, convinced that the second she left his arms, she'd simply vanish.

Lena, for her part, enjoyed feeling safe in Paul's arms, still shaken by everything that she had learned today. And she had to admit that a part of her had missed him dearly. She had been feeling annoyed at Paul lately because of all of the secrecy surrounding the events at Billy's house, sensing that there was something that he was keeping to himself. There had been a distance between them ever since that night, one that she'd felt so acutely. It was like every cell in her body had been begging her to go to him, to solve their small conflict so that things could get better. But as understanding as she always had been, she hadn't been able to get over all of the secrets between them. At the time, she'd thought that he simply didn't trust her. And how could a relationship between them ever work if there was no trust? It had felt especially painful since she herself trusted Paul with her life. She couldn't understand why the same couldn't be said for him. After all, she hadn't done anything to make him distrust her.

Although, now that she knew the truth, she understood why he'd tried to protect her from it. It was the kind of life shattering information that could probably make someone go mad. It opened up so many possibilities. While she now knew that vampires and werewolves weren't just the stuff of legends, she couldn't help but wonder if there were other creatures, other things she needed to be aware of. Those horror movies that had terrified her as a kid kept popping up in her mind. She'd spent years trying to convince herself that zombies weren't real, that demons wouldn't crawl out of her closet at attack her in her sleep. But had she been wrong all along? Could a poorly timed visit in a cemetery cause her to be haunted? Would Friday the 13th mean barricading the doors and arming herself with a shotgun? God, the thought made her shiver in terror. She didn't even know how to shoot. Should she learn? Would it be any help? How did one even kill a vampire? Wait, did she have to kill vampires? She tried to picture herself planting a wooden stake in sweet Esme Cullen's heart. That just felt plain wrong. But what did she know about all of it, maybe that same adorable housewife with the big doe eyes had spent centuries draining everyone dry. Paul had told her that they called themselves vegetarians, though. That they drank animal blood. She clung to that fact as hard as she could, not wanting to imagine a world where she needed to destroy that nice woman or the doctor who'd saved countless of lives all over the county.

Part of her wished she'd had another few weeks of peace before learning the truth. Wished she could erase her memories, even just for a few hours, so she could know peace once more. But that would've meant being angry at Paul still, not knowing what he was trying to protect her from. Would she have believed him, had he tried to tell her the truth calmly? It didn't seem like the kind of confession that could simply be told over a cup of coffee. She probably would've thought he was crazy, that he was playing a seriously mean prank on her. Seeing him shift in person had been the only way to make her understand the seriousness of it all.

Interrupting her thoughts, Paul ran a soft hand over her brown curls.

"We should probably go back to the others", he whispered.

She sighed, nodding and slowly detaching herself from him. Instantly, she felt the stinging cold of the Washington air. She'd noticed that he ran extremely warm, and she now wondered if it was part of his werewolves genes making it so. It seemed very practical in a climate like theirs. As someone who was always cold, she definitely enjoyed the perks that came with knowing a person who could basically act as your own personal furnace. Which is why she shot him a grateful smile as he linked their hands together, giving her a bit of warmth back.