Kill me now. ||MATT STURNIOLO FAN FALSE

dick

I internally cringe at the sound of my front door creeking loudly when i open it. i quickly make a move to shut it fully behind me, hoping not to disturb my sleeping dad, who snores on the couch next to about 7 beer cans.

my dad wasn't the best dad. he lost his job when i was in freshman year, pouted about how 'it wasn't fair' and 'not his fault' for about a month until he decided drinking away his problems was the only solution.

real smart dad.

since then, my older brother, Conrad, has stepped up for my dad and parented me while my mom was out working 3 jobs to support my family and my dads drinking addiction.

whenever dad gets bad, Con grabs my pajamas, an outfit for tomorrow, all the tooth brush/ deodorant type shit, and sends me across the street to the sturniolos house.

which is where i'm at now.

home sweet-second-home.

it's pouring rain, my clothes are soaked and my backpack weighs the amount a fucking fully grown ass male hippo does.

what the fuck is a sweater useful for if not to keep me dry?
its the third time this month, which means that the family is probably aware my dads alcohol addiction is declining again.

i honestly feel shitty about it.

i come here often enough that it's concerning, and i know nick, chris and their parents don't particularly mind, but it's still embarrassing.

daddy can't be an adult, so now i'm stuck with his stupid, abusive, alcoholic self all the time.

truth be told, i'm tempted to just move out. Con is old enough, and i know he will as soon as i go to university, but he won't leave me alone with dad.

i suddenly snap out of my trance when i realize i've been standing here, like a lunatic on their porch, drenched in rain for like two minutes without knocking.

embarrassed, i suddenly knock on their door.i don't have to wait long before the door opens, revealing their warm home and a kind smile from mary-lou, the triplets mom, inviting me in.

i walk in and she shuts the door behind me.

"aw. another bad day?" she asks.

i smile tightly and nod. mary lou is like a second mom to me. she's just always been there, and did all the motherly things that my mom wasn't there for. she looked out for me and i loved her for that.

"yeah." i reply, looking anywhere but her eyes in fear that i might just start to cry.

she shoots me a sympathetic look, seeming to sense my sudden sadness and says "well don't you worry. you can always come over here for any reason. now go take a shower, you're soaking wet!"

i laugh and take my shoes off before running up to nicks room to use his shower and set up my stuff.

the door is already a little bit open so i just peak my head in. when nick spots me, he smiles and waves his hand for me to walk in.

"come in, come in. don't just stand there, creepy motherfucker."

i laugh and close the door behind me. nick is my best friend. he's always been there for me, even when others weren't. we get along so well, and tell each other everything.

i sit on his bed and he starts "is it another one of those days?"

i close my eyes and lay down at the foot of his bed.

"yeah. it is."

he nods."it's like, the millionth time this month. do you want to talk about it or....?" he asks.

i sigh. "it's just... my dads getting bad again and my moms been working more so i see her less, con's been amazing, but i can't help but feel guilty at the fact he's pausing his whole life to make sure i'm okay, and not even to mention how terrified i am for what happens after high school-"

he smiles and cuts me off "woah. one problem at a time i'm not a therapist."

i laugh, then he continues "it's okay. everything will work out. don't worry about conrad, he's choosing to do this. he wouldn't do it if he didn't want to. and for school, you don't have to figure everything out right now. that's what your twenties are for."

i smile. nick always knows what to say.

"i guess."

we sit there for a few minutes before i break the silence. "can i use your shower real quick?"he looks to me from the top of the bed.

"sure thing."i smile and get up, grabbing my stuff from my bag.

upon exiting nicks room, i catch a glimpse of matt in his room through a crack in his door.

dick.

i roll my eyes and keep walking down the hall.

the bathroom is at the end of the hallway near the stairs.

chris, who just made it to the top of the stairs smiles at me.

"hey may" he says, stopping.

"hey chris." i say giving him a side hug.

"sleeping over?" he asks

"yep. nothing new" i laugh.

he smiles. "have a good sleep! see you tomorrow morning."

he continues walking as i get into the shower.