summer rain || jegulus + jily ✔️

10 ~ closure

a/n: i think closure is underrated and the production is interesting. maybe that's just me. either way, it's a pretty word.

Lily drew on the thought that James had gotten a softer version of Regulus. She didn't know the details of their relationship, obviously, but whenever he talked about James, his eyes glazed over or he fidgeted. The Regulus other people knew, especially total strangers, never fidgeted. The chink in his armor.

When Regulus liked someone (Lily had studied his patterns just the same as all of her friends), he got defensive and cold. He closed up and built a wall that blocked out his person of interest. He didn't want to feel those things, the vulnerability and devotion that came with a crush. To put it simply: he didn't want to get hurt. It was kind of like how boys were mean to people they liked in adolescence, except much darker and induced by trauma.

His facade was kept up for long enough. He glared daggers at James (meanwhile Lily didn't even want to think about what he actually wanted to do to his muse with those daggers) on the Quidditch pitch and maintained a disinterested demeanor whenever James tried to talk to him. He was Sirius' other brother and Regulus wasn't interested in his replacement. Except he was. All his taunts bounced off of James, as always.

Even Regulus, stubborn fucking Regulus, tired of being contrary and gave up. James wore people out, like leather grew softer the more you put it on and towels started to rip at the seams until loose strings were covering your bathroom floor. 

He threw his heart away and sunshiny, daisy-yellow James caught it. Regulus lost the motivation to stop him. Was that toxic? Everything about James' presence with them was toxic. He was a double agent for Lily and she felt terrible. Regulus: everyone else had to deal with his scornful glances, sarcastic retorts, and ignorance while digging to get to the real him. Lily was still impressed with James for that.

For once, tranquility was in order. Nothing had happened among her friend groups. Sirius and Remus were still lovesick for each other (one of them much more overtly). Dorcas and Marlene. Peter had his bread or whatever the fuck he liked. Evan and Barty were in some complicated situationship, as Regulus had called it.

Regulus' exact words were, "Have you seen them? There's no fucking way nothing is going on. They're so obvious. The sexual tension? The flirty banter? We got drunk and they almost kissed. Hands everywhere. I need them to get over themselves and get on with it, even if it is the merest bit repulsive."

"What a good friend you are," Pandora said.

"Reg! Lilyflower! Dora!" a familiar and just-as-pesky voice called.

"Hey, Star Boy."

"The Moon's Star," Lily teased, knowing Remus' nickname was 'Moony'.

"Oi! Nicknames are my thing!" protested Sirius as he ran over to the courtyard, trailed by the Marauders. Remus, with a book. James, ruffling up his hair. Peter, shivering and tired expression. He always seemed cold and tired. Symptoms of a fever. He also got sick quite frequently.

Remus, James, and Sirius walked over to the trio. Peter stood still, blinked, then facepalmed, trekking in the other direction (maybe to his plants or something). Third wheel, fifth wheel, seventh wheel, you name it—Peter occupied them all. And it didn't look like he was in the mood for that. He liked even numbers better, anyway. They felt safer. Yes, he'd once said that with a completely earnest expression.

"Lils! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," Remus said by way of greeting. Lily snatched the book out of his hands and examined the title. Romeo & Juliet. It was one of his favorite books of all time. All his neatly penned annotations and color-coded sticky notes lay inside.