Clover hearted

Darling

A chapter written solely about my struggles with addiction. In this section I personify my addiction, the first poem is written from the drugs perspective.
TW: addiction, detailed descriptions drug and alcohol use, controlling/abusive themes

Sweetheart
You always come back to me, don't you?
I own you, I have since the start, we both know it.
You may leave but you always come crawling back to me, just as pathetic as ever.
You love me more than anything you've ever known, you love me into your grave.
You'll love me after I've stripped everything from you, you'll love me until you've stepped out of your body, you'll love me until you're nothing.
You declare you won't come back but you always return after craving my physical sensation.
I love you honey and I hate when you pretend to leave me, I will always be waiting for your return, I know you miss me darling.

Household items
The items used to achieve the high become holy, you hold them up to the sky and the blood pumping through your veins into your cold, dead hands.
The meaningless trinkets become divine and unforgettable.
Etched into your mind are the tiny wooden boxes, hollowed out pens, and items with residue left behind.
A world lives in there.

Memory box
When my mind begins to wander I always seem to return to old photos of you.
I look at polrides, trinkets from you, love letters, and suicide letters.
You rarely leave my mind.
I remember meeting strangers behind convenience stores, I remember bags with a world within them, I remember a line of something that felt like returning home.
I remember hallucinating green hearts followed by large and full dinner tables in my bedroom. I remember how it felt to arrive home without getting caught. I remember the quiet heart racing of those late night walks.
I remember the taste you left in my mouth. I remember the way my mind felt while stumbling through my room with a smile plastered across my face. I remember all the little gifts you gave me.
I remember feelings of elation and warm bliss. I remember coming back to you on the bathroom floor. I remember the way everything felt different when you were there.