𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 | l. lovegood

xxi

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅 was that life moved on; it didn't stop when someone you loved was taken from you.

The world had lost its colour. Things that used to be vibrant had turned dull. Activities that used to bring joy couldn't fill the hole that was left from the person that was gone. Even on the sunniest of days, everything was gray through the mocha orbs of Dorothea Tonks.

Everytime she closed her eyes, she kept seeing Sirius falling through the veil. She'd grown distant from her mum, whose resemblance was so close to the woman responsible for his death. The only thing that brought her comfort was hiding in the cave she'd made underneath her bed and rereading the letters sent to her by her best friends, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood, and the books that helped her escape to another world.

Dorothea was curled up in the dog bed she forced her sister to transfigure from an old duvet since she wasn't allowed to use magic outside of school. Her headphones were over her ears as she blasted music to drown out any voices that might be talking to her, trying to convince her to come downstairs for dinner. Any minute now, her dad or sister would poke their head underneath her bed and tell her to come eat.

"Hey, Jude, don't make it bad. Just take a sad song and make it better..."

Dorothea closed her eyes. She hugged her knees to her chest as she listened to the song for what had to be the 100th time that day. She had to hand it to the Muggles; even though they didn't have an ounce of magical blood in them, their music was quite enchanting.

The Beatles were Dorothea's new fascination, and she had managed to collect every album at a Muggle music store that her father had taken her to. He helped her pick out a Walkman – a portable music player – and a pair of headphones. Dorothea carried it with her everywhere she went and refused to take off her headphones, even if there wasn't any music playing in them.

"Hey, Jude, don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her—"

"Knock knock."

Dorothea opened her eyes when the music was clicked off. She furrowed her brows, glaring softly at her older sister, Nymphadora Tonks.

"Don't give me that look, Dottie." Tonks gently brushed Dorothea's short brunette hair out of her face. "Mum said to tell you that dinner's ready."

Dorothea shook her head.

"You have to eat, Thea," Tonks said in a stern, yet gentle, voice. "You've been down here all day. Just come have a little bit of soup, okay?"

Dorothea crawled out from underneath her bed. She frowned when Tonks took the cassette tape out from the Walkman and placed it on the bedside table. She hated her mum's new 'no music at the table' rule. Andromeda probably thought that taking it away during meal times would make Dorothea engage in conversations with them.

It was coming on 8 weeks since the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and Dorothea still hadn't spoken a single word. She'd lost so much weight that her mother was threatening to send her to St. Mungo's Hospital if she didn't start eating properly. Everyone dealt with grief differently, and for Dorothea, she coped with it by falling back into old disordered eating habits.

"Thea, headphones," Andromeda said as the teenager entered the dining room.

Dorothea sighed and took her headphones off, laying them to rest around her neck as she sat down at the table. She ran a hand through her choppy hair. She had taken a pair of scissors to it and cut it all off during a meltdown a few weeks ago. It was now shoulder length instead of nearly down to her butt.

"Did you go on any adventures today?" Ted asked as he cut into the yellow squash casserole that Andromeda had made for dinner. Dorothea knew he was referring to the many books she had in her room, so she nodded. "Where did you go?"

Dorothea pointed at the emerald necklace around her mother's neck.

"The Emerald City?" Andromeda asked, and Dorothea nodded. She'd read The Wizard of Oz three times over the summer break. "Your father and I were talking, and we'd thought maybe you'd like an animal companion like Toto. Someone to keep you company so you're not alone in your room all the time."

Dorothea contemplated this as she slowly ate her soup. She'd thought it would be nice to have a pet. Dogs were cute and cuddly, and cats were always entertaining to watch. But what she really wanted was something not so...common.

The main character in Charlotte's Web had a pet pig named Wilbur.

Dorothea wanted a pig.

"Your birthday is next week," Ted said. "We can go to the pet store in Diagon Alley and see if there's an animal friend there you'd like to take home."

Dorothea's brows scrunched. She'd never seen pigs in Diagon Alley. She wanted a pig, not a cat, toad, dog, or ferret.

"You don't like that idea?"

She shook her head. She took a sheet of parchment out of her pocket and wrote PIG on it before sliding it across the table to her parents.

Ted and Andromeda exchanged a look before glancing across to their youngest daughter. Dorothea's face was serious, and she kept eye contact with them to prove that this was something that she really wanted.

"Uh...o-okay, um...Sweetie, are you sure you don't want a puppy or something?" Andromeda asked, frowning softly.

Dorothea tapped the parchment three times, grunting a little.

"Okay." Ted nodded. "A pig it is."

For the first time in 8 weeks, the tiniest of smiles twitched on Dorothea's lips.

She finished the rest of her soup and ate a few bites of yellow squash casserole. When Andromeda was pleased with what she managed to eat, Dorothea went upstairs. She put the cassette tape back into her Walkman, Hey Jude playing in her headphones as she crawled under her bed and continued reading The Wizard of Oz.