Ice, Ice, Babies!

Let's do This Again

 Trevor: wyd tonight?

I rolled my eyes as I put my phone and glasses back down on my nightstand, then pulled the covers back over my face. I met Trevor Martin a month ago, and once we got to the party at that big, fancy mansion, him and I just kind of...clicked. We texted every day since that night...

"I feel like there's a lot more to you than what you let off," Trevor said, taking a seat next to me amongst the chaos of the rest of the party.

"Sorry I'm not happy-go-lucky like my friends. My life went to total shit six weeks ago," I said, taking a sip out of the fancy beer bottle in my hand. "My mom died and my life is just gonna suck forever, I guess." I looked over at his cup before he could answer. Letting out a laugh in my drunken stupor. "Oh, what drink is that? It looks good."

"Here, have a sip," he said, handing me the red cup.

I took one and laughed. "Tastes like lemonade."

"That's because it is."

"Of all the people in this place that I thought would be drinking tonight, I figured you'd be one of them," I said.

"Can't. It interacts with my seizure meds," he said, his tone flat. "But trust me, I'd love to have some. I'm in the dead mom's club, too."

I put my bottle down on the coffee table, then cleaned off my glasses. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing. I'd never met someone my age (who wasn't from Reddit) that also didn't have a mom. There was just a sudden, overwhelming sense of "holy moly, someone who gets it."

"What happened to your mom? If you don't mind me asking, of course."

He looked left and right, making sure no one else was listening in. He mouthed the word "overdose." I nodded. "Yours?"

"Stage four cancer."

"Aww man, I'm sorry..." He motioned with his hand, waiting for me to say something.

"Lynn. It's Lynn."

"Oh, right. It's giving...very normal vibes."

I laughed. "Well I'm not normal, as you can clearly tell."

"Losing a parent is something that really needs to be normalized, you know? There's such a stigma about it."

I nudged him. "Not about that! You...can't tell by looking at me?"

"Tell what? That you have a pretty face and nice eyes?"

"No, stupid! That I have albinism."

"Ah, now it all makes sense. I just figured you were some kind of a recluse that never went outside."

"I'd totally smack you if you weren't actually a hundred percent correct on that one."

We sat there for a while on the couch, just talking and laughing. We had so much in common: no moms, both of us bullied in school for our conditions. He even had two younger siblings living at home with his dad, just like I did.

We related so much to losing our moms quickly and tragically. I'd read a lot of internet forums about people losing a parent over time, having several months or years to prepare. I sure as hell didn't. Trevor sure as hell didn't either.

I yawned and started typing up a new message to Trevor.

Like I told you yesterday, getting in the car and seeing the parade with my family.

I got out of bed and looked over at Bethy, who was completely passed out from whatever party she was at last night. I wasn't in the mood. Normally I loved today, but this year it just wasn't the same without my mom.

To everyone else, Saint Patrick's Day was just a fun day to wear green, eat corned beef, and get really drunk. But to our family, it has that special extra something: my mom's birthday. Each year my mom would wake us up with "leprechaun buckets" filled with beaded necklaces and hair accessories to wear to school, gold coins, and a green stuffed animal of some sort. We'd get takeout from the Irish pub, and we'd have her favorite chocolate lava cake for dessert, right after she opened her presents.

If her birthday was on a Saturday, like it was today, we'd also get to go to the Oak Falls Saint Patrick's Day parade on the same day. Today I'd be stopping at the cemetery first. How could I not bring my mom presents on her birthday?

Once I was all ready for the day, I got another text. I sighed and pulled my phone out of my coat pocket. Of course, it was Trevor.

Just making sure you're still going. I'll see you there. ;)

I rolled my eyes and went down the elevator, then stopped at the campus hub to grab a coffee to enjoy on my long car ride. It was a two-hour ride back to Oak Falls. I listened to an audiobook in the car. Bethy was obsessed with teen pregnancy stories so much that she convinced me to read one by her favorite author, R. L. Vander, who coincidentally happened to be from Oak Falls.

We were such a small little town but we somehow had so many famous people, besides R. L. Vander. There was Chase Hetcher, the super famous actor who played a vampire in the hit Castle of Shadows series. Then there was Harper Covington, the biggest star of all the MTV Teen Mom series, so much that she was now getting her own show. There was also apparently a real-life witch coven that for some reason had meetings at the Holy Light church on Hollow Street. Oak Falls was definitely an...interesting...place to be.

I was half-listening, half not as I got closer and closer to home. I worried about my sisters, and I worried about my dad. This was my mom's first birthday where she wasn't here. It was also my first time going to the cemetery since the burial, and it was such a big place. I had know idea where I was going.

I stopped at the local party store and got a big bouquet of balloons. I know you're supposed to leave flowers at a grave, but my mom actually hated bouquets. She got a lot of them when her mom died shortly after I was born, and they, to her, were a "constant reminder" of that time. She did, however, love balloons.

I followed the online guide to the brand-new section in the Joan of Arc Cemetery called "Forever Love." It was easy to spot my mom's grave because of all the balloons. I took mine out of the back seat and held on tight against the wind. It was really blowing today. Good thing I went with double weights on the balloons.

I walked over to the plot, which for right now, was unmarked. I always thought a headstone was just ready to go when you bury someone, but designing and ordering can take months. My dad said hers would finally be here around Mother's Day.

I set my green shamrock and colorful "Happy Birthday" balloons down with all the others. My mom would be fifty-five today. After that I just kind of stood there. I didn't really know what else to do. I knew that people talked to their loved ones at cemeteries, but to me it just didn't make sense. My mom was dead. She couldn't hear me. It made me sick to my stomach to think about it, but by this point she had to be so decomposed that her ears were gone.

I took off my glasses and wiped away a few tears. It was so hard to believe that my mom, who was always so lively and fun, was just a skeleton who was in the ground under my feet. This whole thing still felt like a sick joke. I was just waiting for my mom to pop out somewhere and go, "Surprise! I'm still here! It's all okay everybody!"

My phone started buzzing in my pocket. It was my dad. I instantly picked it up.

"Hi Dad," I said.

"Lynn, where are you? We have to leave for the parade in thirty minutes, and your sisters don't want to be late," he said.

"Oh, sorry. I had a really long line to get balloons at the party store for Mom."

He was quiet for a few seconds. "Gotcha. I can tell them we'll leave late if you need more time there."

"I don't. I'm heading out now."

"Okay. Hurry home! Your mom would be so upset if we didn't get good spots."

"Yeah. I know," I said, smiling.

I ran back to my car and drove out of the cemetery. I felt like I was leaving my mom behind. She didn't belong there. She belonged at the parade with us, and most importantly, meeting Trevor for the first time. The rest of my family didn't know about that, though.