The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

Shower (Partybeetle)

((This is in no way suggestive or like smut or anything there will be jokes but that's it I just wanted pest to take a shower because he STINKS))

Poob opened the shower head as the little droplets of water gathered and formed the basis for their shower. They smiled as they checked if they had everything while pest came through the door. Embarrassed.

"Do we HAVE to do this?" He chittered, his mandibles clawing in the air in nervousness

"Well Yee! Also besidesss....u stink.."

"HEY!"

"U said u didn't showur in 5 months! That ain't normal buddo!"

Pest hissed at them slightly "ughhh....guess you're right....迷惑な(annoying)"

Poob brightened up again, plastering their big smile as they checked the water temperature and turned to pest, covering his face with his hat. "Oki! Da watur iz good now! U can come in :3"

Pest groaned slightly as he realized that, he turned away as Poob stripped themselves and went in the shower before trying to quickly do it themselves and slightly scooted to the shower, trying to get over this as quick as possible, Poob just giggled at how embarrassed and flustered he was acting as he sat in the bathtub as well, his back turned against poobs.

"..why are you laughing.."

"Oh nuthin hehe-"

"...." Pest glared at them with an eyebrow raised

"Ur just acting funny!"

"Oh ok I thought it was something...else.."

"Itz also really cute 2 dunt worri"

"DUDE!"

Poob laughed again before calming down and making sure to wet some of pests hair before squirting some shampoo and gently scrubbing

"..is thus normal?"

"Hm?"

"Like...is it normal for couples to..shower together.."

"Oh Yee totalli! It's actualli a very good practice of truzt"

"..." pest slightly blushed, does this mean he actually trusted that bug Poob? But I mean, he did make out with them multiple times and self-proclaim himself as his boyfriend once so...

His antlers went down as his body relaxed a bit, a sign of submission and trust. He felt Poob scratch behind his antlers, making him purr.

"..hehe- ur like a kitty-"

"Shut it."

Poob giggled at his response and continued to make sure the grime and dandruff on his hair would be soaked up and cleaned, all while conversing with the beetle.

"Soo like...whut r doez scars on ur back?"

"Hm? Oh those..uh...nothing too important.." the beetle shrugged off

"Doez it hurt if I touch them?" Poob commented before softly tracing their fingers over the deep scars of pests back, making pest jolt slightly and turn beetroot red "n-no! Let go!" He tried to swat poobs hand away and they ended up just giggling for the millionth time, before lathering up their own hair and body while pest scrubbed soap on his.

"..wait..Poob didn't you say you were gonna go to a party soon?"

"Yee! I'm gonna go in liek...3 hours!"

"クソ (Shit).. uhh...can't you do something else for today? Like....watch a movie...maybe...with me" he coughed

"Awwwn u gunna miss me or sumthin?"

"N-NO!" He turned red once again, rubbing the soap a little more vigorously "I mean like...god I can't believe I'm gonna say this but..I'm actually kind of afraid for you.."

Poob was confused, he stopped scrubbing their hair for a moment "afraid?"

Pest sighed "the last time I had to fetch you from a party you were drunk and...some creep tried to take you.."

Poob felt their heart twist a bit "oh y'know it's just....weirdos being weirdos haha!"

Pest turned around in disbelief "Poob. You're underestimating the severity of this situation." He adjusted his seating so that he'd be facing Poob fully now, even if poobs eyes are closed thanks to the shampoo in their hair. "You could've gotten through SO MUCH WORSE if I had simply not been there. You could have been DEAD. You're lucky I managed to come in anyways.."

"I mean.." Poob was at a loss of words, pest grabbed the shower head and turned on at a slow pressure to wash poobs hair.

"Poob. You literally admitted to me that it has happened multiple times before. Do you like. Understand how severe that is??"

Poob didn't respond all they could is move their wet hair as pest was washing his own body and hair. They just snuffled a bit.

"I got used to it.."

"You should never get used to this. Poob. You're way more valuable that what most say or do to you. Don't bring your worth down for other peoples sick realities."

Poob chocked a bit, feeling some hot tears drip down their face, pest immediately noticed and lightly hugged Poob as they sobbed slightly.

"It'll be ok. Let's dry up and watch a movie ok?"

"But what about the party..?"

"Well do you want to go or are you just going for those freak cousins of yours?"

"Don't call dem freaks! And...no actually..I just like to hang out with my cousins...and the alcohol.."

"Then you're not obliged to go. Take a rest. Especially from the alcohol." Pest advices as Poob took the shower head and properly cleaned the two. As pest did a pretty shitty job of washing off all the soap. The water and the fact that pests back was exposed really made him feel like he was back at his 'home' being 'trained' by his father under the rain, having to face the treacherous tasks of his father all while having to be barely clothed.

He hated that.

But he isn't with his father anymore. And it wasn't the time to whine about his past. He had Poob. And this is all he needed.

...

Pest held Poob against his bare chest as the two were dry and watching finding Nemo. Poob, fully clothed, looked up at pest a little suspiciously.

"Aren't u gunna wear a shirt?"

"I'm too lazy."

"Dats not an excuse!"

"Whatever."

Poob got annoyed and pinches pests nipple. He screamed out and pushed Poob away.

"一体どうしたんだ！？(WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?)"

"Look u can't have ur fat man tits out liek dis. It's rude >:/" Poob rolled their eyes

"YOU YOU TWISTED MY TIT??"

"YES!! NOW GO WEAR A SHIRT OR ELZE IMMA TWIST SMTH ELSE >:["

Pest side eyed Poob at that comment before grumbling and getting up

"...wait I don't have a shirt...I didn't bring one.."

Poob sighed "I'll give u one. Wait here." Poob walked to their room and came back, throwing a bright tie dye shirt at pest who wore it in a grumpy fashion

"...it's very bright-"

"Stup complaining. Now c'mon! I wanna see where they find Nemo!"

"He dies."

"....SHUT UP??" Poob turned to pest in disbelief as pest chuckled evilly under their breath, poob huffed and lightly punched pest. Refusing to cuddle with him for at least 5 minutes after starting th e movie again before giving in again and clinging onto his blushing and flustered body.

"..I'm glad you came.." they muttered after a while.

"Me too." Pest smiled.