Abracadabra, Howls, and the Furry Guardians

Guilty Conscience

"What are you waiting for? Let's go!" Marika suddenly exclaimed as if the delay was caused by him and not her pacing left and right without a goal or a purpose for the last twenty minutes.

"You're okay with all this?" Tate asked, unsure of what he should do or say.

He was worried her temper might flare up again and end up hurting someone back in the city, but on the other hand, they didn't have a lot of time left, and they still had a lot of things to do.

The story went that the only way one could possibly deal with the Abyss of Sorrow was on the night of the full moon that was fast approaching. So, it was better to meet her guardian as soon as possible.

"I'm not okay!" Marika snapped back at him instinctually.

Even though she had silently sworn to herself that she would be nicer to the poor guy, she couldn't help it. The supernatural world was utterly overwhelming with all its rules and regulations. It wasn't how she expected it to be at all.

When the veil between her old world and the new one lifted for the first time, she expected something from the movies, old-fashioned witches, werewolves, and so on. Not in the wildest dreams did she expect what she actually saw. The strange mixture of the most modern technology and the weirdest magic working together.

Although it felt strange to her, in a way, it made more sense. Every society evolved and adjusted to better function in the everyday world, so was it so surprising that the same would be the case with supernatural societies? After all, magic wasn't limitless, no matter how much some people wanted to believe they were all-powerful. Besides, werewolves didn't really have any magic to begin with. Sure, they had heightened abilities but no magic in the true sense of the word.

So, they found a way to adjust, to adapt, and most importantly, to escape the regular humans they once shared the world with when their toxicity and bigotry reached an all-time high.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you," Marika said, dialing down on yelling at the poor guy. "It's just that besides my emotions being constantly out of sync since I became a werewolf, these endless hurdles your world keeps throwing my way don't help."

"I'm sorry," Tate said, lowering his head submissively. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't lost control and bitten you, you wouldn't have had to deal with so much. I am so sorry for asking even more from you."

Marika had to bite her tongue hard so as not to start yelling at him. It was getting extremely frustrating to listen to him constantly apologize. And it was painful to see him acting so submissive to her when he was the alpha male, the one to whom all the werewolves bowed down and offered their lives to do with them as he chose. Yet, his constant apologies were driving her insane, as she didn't want them or need them. They didn't do anything but remind her of everything she had lost, but she couldn't tell him that because that would only end up hurting his feelings.

Still, she had yet to find the right way to answer his constant apologies, to make him stop feeling so guilty because nothing she said or did made him feel better. In the beginning, when she kept attacking him at sight and punching him in the face, he did absolutely nothing to defend himself. It was as if he gladly accepted the punishment, knowing that he deserved it.

However, after she finished venting her anger, Marika just wanted to leave the past in the past and move on. But that seemed impossible for Tate. It was as if he was stuck in a loop of guilt and self-hatred that she couldn't really pull him out of, no matter how much she tried. The only way for him to get out was if he pulled himself out.

"And I wouldn't have gotten to know your charming self," Marika said teasingly, even though she didn't really feel in the joking mood. "Now stop whining like a lost little puppy, and let's get to that horrible contraption and do what has to be done. Hopefully, I won't puke my guts out before we can save the magical world from itself."

As predicted, the moment she put on her cheerful mask, he seemed to buy it and go with the mood she was trying to set. He always seemed to do that. Adjusting his mood according to what he thought she wanted to see. It looked exhausting, and he mostly didn't even get it right, but Marika decided not to say anything about it.

The trip back was much slower as they ran in their human forms, but it was as enjoyable as running in their wolf form. Maybe even more so because Marika could feel the wind more clearly, carrying all her worries away with its playful dance across her skin. If only for a short time.

When they reached the VAM, Marika felt even worse about riding on it, knowing it would be one bad experience after another. Sure, she knew that being an adult meant making sacrifices and compromising, but it felt like that was all she had done since she became a werewolf. She hadn't had the chance to be present and enjoy her life for the longest time.

"You can hold on to me if that'll make it any easier," Tate said upon noticing her eying the magic-filled column in the middle with utter disgust.

"No, no, no, I'm fine," Marika quickly said, recent realizations bouncing around her head, making her uncomfortable with his proximity for the first time since the day she met him.

Sure, she punched his face often when she first turned, but that wasn't about her feeling uncomfortable around him. It was about venting her anger, feeling betrayed because she had foolishly given him her trust, and it ended up in him hurting her in more ways than one.

"Are you sure?" Tate asked, his eyes zeroing in on her shaking hands, which were starting to sweat.

"Yeah," Marika said weakly. "I mean, I'm not fine fine. How can I be? But I can endure it, and holding on to you won't help because your body heat will make it worse."

She wasn't planning on saying the last part even though it was the truth, but it slipped out. So, she went with it, assuming Tate would misunderstand it as a medical thing instead of what it really was, the I-might-be-having-feelings-for-this-guy thing.

"I'll make it fast," Tate said as they assumed their previous positions on the VAM, with Marika only focused on not throwing up.

Being too busy with that, she didn't have the opportunity to tell him that going fast would only make it worse. It was like when someone was car sick, and driving fast only made them even more sick. What with the confusing mixture of smells, speed, and mixed-up emotions, it was no wonder Marika started violently throwing up the moment the VAM hit the ground, which the people around her didn't seem to appreciate, used to as everyone was on those types of inconveniences rarely happening as most of those who suffered from motion sickness used different potions and spells to deal with those issues. It didn't even occur to anyone that some people like Marika couldn't use things like that because they made their condition even worse.

"Are you okay?" Tate asked, worriedly putting a cold compress on her forehead as they had concluded through trial and error that non-magical things worked best on her. "Do you think you're done throwing up? Can we get going?"

Marika lifted her head, paler than some vampires, and noticed a bunch of little cleaning robots flying around, trying to clean up the mess she had made. There were a lot of little witch robots and furry guardian-shaped ones, but none were werewolf-shaped. It was strange how universal discrimination turned out to be.

"Yeah, let's go," Marika said as she gurgled the water Tate had given her, cleaning her mouth before carefully drinking a few mouthfuls. "Tate, please tell me we're meeting the guardian someplace I can sit without throwing up."

"Yes, we're meeting her at my house," Tate said casually, like it wasn't a big deal.

Usually, it wasn't. But Marika had only recently opened the door that had been shut for a few years and peeked inside the hidden room of her emotions only to find what she feared the most. What's worse, she had begun to realize how badly she had treated Tate, the same guy who had been kind to her since he made that horrible mistake.

Am I really saying that I'm that much of a coward that I'm scared to go to a guy's house just because I might have feelings for him and feel guilty for treating him like trash? Yes, I definitely am saying that.

"Lead the way," she managed to croak out.

However, all she wanted to do was go back to her own room and hide in the closet, never to be seen again and never having to deal with the dangerous mess her life had become in more ways than one.