The Paper Crown

11. The Tiger

I see Mariusz only in the mornings for breakfast and the evenings for dinner. And at night, of course. Following Selician royal tradition, we are to sleep together in this single apartment for forty nights until we move into the ducal suite with its separate bedrooms. At least, we sleep in the same room, he on the bed and me on the chaise. He has never forbidden me the bed, but he is always first in it at night, and I dare not get in after him. Each morning, I hurry to put my blanket back and smooth the chaise cushions before the servants enter. Sometimes in the afternoon, I claim the bed myself for a nap. The pillows smell like Mariusz now. Like his perfume, and the sweat of his body beneath it. It seems like a trespass, even when he absent, to lie there. And because it seems like a trespass, I take pleasure in it.

I am sleeping in the bed when King Edmund comes to say goodbye five days after our wedding. He wakes me by saying my name, and in the depths of my dream I think it is my father's voice calling to me. When I open my eyes and see my uncle standing over me, I feel as though I could stab him all over again.

"What do you want?" I crawl out of bed and get to my feet.

"To speak to you alone for a moment." He steps back to give me space as I straighten my dress and hair. "I'm going back home today. I won't see you again for a long time, I imagine. I think it will be best if my presence here is limited."

"We do not need to be alone for you to tell me that. In fact, you might have let a servant inform me."

"Come, Alexandra. You know that's not all I have to say."

"Then what else?"

He watches me, his lips tight at the corners. "I thought I was doing well by you when I arranged for you to come here, but I am not sure now. You are not happy here."

"I am always unhappy when I am near you."

"I am ever the scapegoat for your misery. Perhaps it was useless to try and make you happy. Perhaps all I can do is make you safe." He looks at the rumpled bed. "If that were the case, you would be have been better off in the tower."

"Am I in danger here? No one has threatened me."

"You must be aware they are hostile towards you."

"And aware why. Why did you send me here, if you knew everyone was going to hate whomever you sent to marry Mariusz? Or perhaps that is why. You wish to preserve your daughters from the unhappiness of being hated. Me, I'm quite used to it. I'm very comfortable with being hated."

A surprising smile breaks out across King Edmund's face. "And that is why I sent you here. You are wilful, cynical, cold-hearted, and very often cruel."

"To punish me, then."

"No. Those are qualities you will need to survive. If I must send one of my loved ones to a court of vipers and wolves, I will choose the tiger, not the lamb."

I am not one of his loved ones. I cannot be, for I hate him. But I cannot contain the faint thrill of pride at being called a tiger. My cousin Viktoria, the same age as me, was always compared to me, not just by my mother and hers, but by others within the Rothalian Court. She was always the one people liked better. She was prettier, more agreeable, more smiling. Secretly, I always thought her more than a little conniving.

"The best thing for you to do would be to make friends of some of them," King Edmund continues. "Mariusz, of course, and also his friends. His mother, if you can. She is a highly principled woman and would be a worthy ally."

"I don't believe tigers are friendly creatures. Besides, Mariusz has already told me he does not wish to be friends."

"And you accepted his wishes so complacently?"