A Simple Life

Just like every single morning in every single fucking romance story I have ever read, the birds were singing, and the sunshine peaked from the gap of my curtains. A strong yet gentle arms around my waist, protected me from anything that might harm me in my sleep. There was nothing better than waking up in the morning with my dearest husband, Jan, by my side, and I will never trade it for anything else in the world. Not even once.

I turned to see my husband's face, and smiled at him, even though he hadn't even woken up yet from his dream. He had a healthy, white skin that showed the blue veins underneath. His hair was thin—people around me called it almost bald, but they were wrong. My husband wasn't bald. He never was. He was the most handsome man in the world, although his hair was running thin, and those dark circles around his eyes were very, very noticeable. I wouldn't complain tho, because he was a dedicated man on everything; his wife, his work, his life.

When he opened his eyes and smiled at me, I could feel a wave of affection running through my heart, filling my whole being. As always, he gave me a kiss on my forehead as a first greeting in the morning. And then he pulled me even closer and whispered in my ear, "Good morning, Honey."

"Good morning, Handsome," I replied with a wide smile. I couldn't hold myself back from smiling. "Oh, you are my everything," I murmured before kissing his lips gently.

Jan returned the kiss deeply, and then gave me another kiss on my cheek. He smiled as he kissed me multiple times, and I know he loved me as much as I loved him. He didn't have to say it, but I understood.

"Do you have a lot to do today?" I asked him softly before kissing his neck dearly.

"Yeah," Jan sighed heavily. "A lot of commissions for my paintings, but at least it means we will have a lot to save for our next trip to Romania." He smiled at me, then kissed my forehead again. "I know you're always dreaming about going to Romania, and I'm gladly doing my best to make it come true. Soon, you will find us on our plane there."

"I don't want anything else as long as I have you by my side," I said.

"And I want you to have all the things you ever wanted," Jan insisted. "I will try my best."

"You are the best." I leaned in to kiss his neck again.

"I think we should get up from bed before your mom comes to visit," Jan whispered in my ears, but he hugged me tighter as if he didn't want to let me go.

"Will you meet her this time?" I looked at his black eyes deeply.

"Oh, Honey, you know your mom never likes me," Jan said calmly, "so I better not try to push my luck and make her mad at us. I prefer to go to my studio and work on my commissions." He loosened his embrace around me, then got up from bed to go to the bathroom.

***

My mom came only ten minutes after Jan left our little flat. Her face flinched in disgust as she entered, her eyes looked at the paintings on the wall in disdain. She didn't like paintings. She never did. Especially ones made by Jan. To her, art was just a way to kill the time, not to earn money. Art would never be able to give us a life the way nine-to-five works do. No matter how I tried, she would never understand that art wasn't meant to give us life, because art is the life.

"You should get out of this place before you're going completely mad," Mom said so suddenly while I was making us tea.

"I'm not going anywhere," I said, soft but firm. "This is my house, and this is the place where my family will grow."

"What family?" Mom raised an eyebrow at me.

"My family," I answered. "My very own family. One that I always wanted. One that I always dreamt of. My husband and I will never give up. We are a couple made in Heaven."

"Husband?" Mom scoffed, "What husband? You're delirious!"

"I'm not delirious! Just because you hate Jan for being a painter and not having a prestigious job, doesn't mean he is nothing!" I snapped her. "He loves me so much and we're going to have a family! I found the love of my life, and you hate this fact! You have never been happy for every little happiness I have in my life, including this one! Because you always thought that everyone's happiness is the same as yours, while you are wrong! Completely wrong! I'm happy being with him. He makes me feel what I never felt before. He is my everything. He gives me every little thing that makes me happy. This simple life is what I want, what I need, and he gives me it all."

"You will never have a family unless you're going out of this madness!" Mom shouted at me.

"And now you curse me, your own daughter?!" I shouted back. "I know I can't have a child from my own womb, but Jan never makes it a problem! We agreed to do an adoption!"

"You aren't capable of adopting a child!" Mom shouted again.

"I ain't capable of anything, am I?!" I said sarcastically.

"I'm not trying to insult you! I'm stating facts!"

"To you, I'm just a stupid, delirious, barren woman that will never have a chance to—"

"You are not barren!" Mom slapped me so hard across my face. "You are just stupid, mad, crazy, delirious, delusional, and stubborn!"

I looked at her with tears pooled in my eyes. One hand on my own cheek. Numb by the slap.

"You are so stubborn, that makes you so stupid, and prevents you from getting out of your delusional thoughts!" Mom screamed on my face, then left my flat with tears on her face. She didn't even drink the tea.

***

"You look so stressed," Jan said softly as he put his arms around my waist, and kissed my cheek dearly to make me feel better late that night.

"My mom said I'm delirious," I whispered. "She said I'm delusional for dreaming of a family with you. Of course I was mad at her and shouted at her face. I will never let her talk ill about us in any way."

"Thank you for defending us all the time." Jan kissed my forehead dearly. "I think we need some sleep after a long, stressful day."

"You can go to our bed first." I kissed Jan's neck. "I will put some deodorant on to control my odor during sleep."

"You know you don't have to do that. I like your smell." Jan chuckled before kissing my lips lightly.
"I just want us to enjoy this night to the fullest." I giggled cheerfully.

Jan kissed my lips again before releasing his hug, then he went to the bed and laid himself there. He tried to find a comfortable position while waiting for me to join him.

I went to my dressing table quickly, then looked for my deodorant. It was nowhere on the dressing table nor the shelf, so I pulled the drawer out to find it. But, instead of a deodorant, I found a transparent plastic containing a lot of medicines and a note by a psychiatrist.

Symptoms: Delusions, hallucinations, social isolation, confused thinking.

Diagnose: Schizophrenia.

I took the note and brought it to the bed, shook Jan's shoulder and showed it to him. He smiled at me, kissed my forehead, and told me to consume my medicines just like the psychiatrist told me.

"But what if you're not real and I lose you once I get better from my mental illness?" I asked him with trembling lips.

"Sometimes, we just have to let it be." Jan hugged me close and ran his fingers on my hair. "And sometimes we just have to let it go."

-o0o-
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Ema Loka.

1 May 2024.