The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

firey passion (not really)(Partybeetle)

"so...wut waz THAT for???" poob hesitantly asked as they turned to a rather tense pest as he just glanced at poob "何もない(nothing)...dont worry about it."

"I know ur lying >:[" they huffed out "pest u cant juzt SHOOT thungz fur no reason!?"  pest scoffed "I didn't shoot for no reason. wallter was being a dramatic person screaming about his love problems."

Poob tilted their head confusingly "Luv...prublemz?"

"The divorce with that mannequin."

"Ohhh!! Damn..but leik??? Almuzt SHOOTING him???"

"I didn't even shoot him. ばか(idiot). I simply killed the bear behind him."

"Yeah I know but leik THEN u tried 2 shoot him!1!"

"Tch. Whatever" he scoffed, making Poob glare at him. "Pest." They said firmly. "Ur severely underestimating how fucking DIRE this situation is and all ur doin' is just scoff at it??"

"...what do you mean-"

"I MEAN. how can u just almost SHOOT someone over them having a mental breakdown, then pretend like it wasn't a big deal, do you not care??"

Pest was about to condritict that statement until he realized, no, he really DIDN'T care. At least, not fully, He simply got off of his seat as the train took a stop, talking in a sarcastic manner "actually Poob? I don't even GIVE  a single fuck about him, or ANYONE for that matter." He smirked

"Not even me..?"

Pest soon found himself flinching "ah- well no OBVIOUSLY I care about you...you can say you're a special exception-"

Poob just cut him off, getting up and almost yelling at his face "NO! this is so obviously ANOTHER LIE!! If you even care about shooting someone then....then..." they teared up "how would you even care about ME??" They burst into tears and ran out the metro station, leaving a stunned pest wide eyed at seeing his partner run away.

Great. He was about to ruin his relationship over being fucking sarcastic. He ran after Poob, albeit, he didn't really make an effort to call Poob out as he felt the eyes drawn towards them were already enough.

That was until they reached the surface and Poob ran FASTER

"A- POOB!!"

he kept running towards them, shoving and cursing off multiple people along the way in Japanese. They were thankful not to fully know this language because he actually said some pretty vile things. All until he reached Poob, cornering them in an abandoned alleyway, huffing his chest out slightly as he saw Poob catch their breath.

"Poob?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Pest groaned "look Poob I didn't....I didn't MEAN it like that OK??..I was being sarcastic..."

Poob lightened up a bit and turned to the beetle "sarcastic?.." they sniffled and wiped their tears away "so...so u DO care??"

"Nahhhh, I mean, not fully, I got different levels for people."

Poob glared at him.

"What?? I'm being honest!"

"God...u remind me of my dad..."

"WHO now?? You have a father??"

"Hey! What are you two PUNKS doin' in aur turf!?" The third voice rang, causing the two complicated lovebirds to freeze and slowly turn around, revealing a sort of 'surrounded by the gangster' type situation

"Ugh. 真剣に(seriously)?"

"GAH we're outnumbered!1!"

"Yeah! I can SEE that-!"

The leader of the ring didn't seem throughly impressed, for he squinted his eyes "ya two better make it out of here faster than a pack of wolves on a street or you're gonna regret comin' to this city.."

Poob gulped slightly "o-oki pest I think we shuld g-"

Pest chuckled and brushed aside Poob "no worries chick, I got this." He cracked his knuckles and confronted the leader "Think you're so tough huh?? クソ変態め(You fucking freak). This should teach you-!" And he swinger his fist in for a punch.

Before it got caught.

"!? HUH- What the-!?"

"HAH! Aww little buggy too stunned?" The leader delivered a fatal punch back, this time hitting pest square in the face, bringing both ringing pain and throbbing humiliation.

"PEZT!!"

"Save it cupcake, your little bully here is FINE." He looked down to the groaning pest as he held his face, feeling warm sticky blood gush out of his nose "I think."

Poob felt themselves almost cry again as the leader kicked pest in the stomach "and THIS is for even THINKING you could beat us, smug ass FREAK" and that horrified dread quickly turned into anger as Poob grinned their teeth so hard it snapped their party blower. Seeing the leader taunt their boyfriend was just unlocking a whole notion of new emotions.

"Now let- wait a minute...is it me? Or is it getting hot?" He mentioned being being grabbed at the throat by what seemed like literal fire. He couldn't even scream as the grip was too tight, feeling his skin slowly burn and peel off, he shakily looked up to a literal fire demon, best description he could give was a giant flame embodying the shape of a human, with an untouched party hat at the top.

"leave. Him. ALONE" the thing screamed out as it further burned the man, the marks spreading towards his face before Poob snapped his neck and let the rest of his head disintegrate with it.

"Now..WHO'S NEXT?"

the other members already left the moment they saw Poob literally erupt in flames.

Pest himself had little time to comprehend what was even going on as he managed to open his eyes and see what the commotion is about, and then almost scream at the terrifying sight of his lover menacingly stand over him, encapsulating the look that they had. He felt himself get lifted by the collar to poob's firey face, feeling the heat and anger come off.

".....PESTTTT!!." That anger suddenly turned to gratitude and happiness as they hugged him, and even though it surprisingly didn't burn pest off like a match stick, it was certainly very scary for our fellow buggy beetle. "R u ok I!? I'm glad I got rid of those FREAKS. Now u wunna-"

"ごめんなさい、ごめんなさい、お願いです、殺さないで！！！ あなたを愛している、ただお願いです、私は臆病者なんです！！ お願い、お願い!! (I'M SORRY I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! I DO LOVE YOU JUST PLEASE- I AM A COWARD!! PLEASE PLEASE!!)"

"...you know I can't understand you..right?"

"AAAAAAAAA" pest basically couldn't contain his fear no longer and screamed his mandibles out, making Poob let go to save their ears "JESUS" pest continued to huddle in a corner and cry with panic, screaming even if Poob tried to do a slight movement towards him, making Poob scoff off and look away, tearing up(???)

"I KNEW it!!"

Poob broke out sobbing and ran in an incredibly fast pace, and in a blink of an eye, Poob had left, leaving a trail of black burns and small fire. And all pest could do was watched in both awe and mostly fear, before coming to his senses, realizing that he reacted in the WORST possible way in this situation. And now all he could do was utter in a cowardly manner:

".........くそ (FUCK)"