Dirty Little Secret (Camren) on hold

Ch 4: Late Night Convos

C: :) so what's the first thing you want to know about me??

L: Um.... Are you a dude or???

C: i am of the feminine species lol. what do you do on your free time when your not busy kicking boys in their ding-dongs

L: Lol. I like to sing read and write, I was on the softball team but got dropped because of my anger problems. Wby

C: oh that's too bad i bet you were good. um i wish i could say something interesting, all i do is read and watch One Direction videos on youtube. uuh fav movie?? atm my fav is Harry Potter.. like all of them lol

L: That's a hard one I like a lot of movies, but atm my fav is Alice In Wonderland. Do you have any siblings? I have 2 a younger brother and sister Chris and Taylor

C: i have a younger sister. fears. im a really big baby so im just gonna name 3. thunderstorms, spiders, and hurting the people i care about

L: Um.. I dnt think I have any fears besides maybe the last one you said. I've been bullied and made fun of and had so many bad things happen to me for so long I'm not really afraid of anything :/ Have you ever bullied me or anyone else??

C: ive never really bullied you because 1) i dnt have a lot of classes with you and 2) you never really come near me so there's no reason for me to go up to you and bully you for no reason, as for bullying others im totally guilty, i dnt mean to bully them or be rude but i just cant help it, my head says one thing but my mouth say cold hearted bitch and i end up saying something i dnt mean and i always tell myself that im gonna tell them sorry but i either never get around to doing it or when i go to apologise and i just make a bigger ass out of myself and hurting that person more than i already did.

L: Well have you ever been bullied?? Do you know what it's like to be on the receiving end, do you know what it's like being made fun of in front of a bunch of people and not having anyone to stick up for you.

C: actually i do know what it's like to have everyone make fun of you and have absolutely no one to come to your rescue, to have to sit alone at lunch and if things are really bad having to eat your lunch a restroom stall all alone and have people walk into the restroom saying all these bad things about and laugh at you, having to sit through all of it, having people pick on you in class RIGHT in front of the teacher and the teacher do nothing about, having to tell yourself that everything is going to be alright and that the pain youre in is only temporary, then when you finally retaliate youre the one that gets in trouble

L: Then why do it? Why be the bully? Why not stand up for the people that are being bullied instead of bullying them too and making them feel worse about themselves? Why not be the voice that they don't have, show them that someone cares about them and that even the coolest most bad ass bitches in the school have been bullied before. Show everyone else that what they're doing actually hurts and that is sucks ass being on the receiving end of bullying.

C: idk i guess im just afraid of the past repeating itself again, i mean yeah im really popular, but theres so many fake people in that hell hole its hard to tell whos my friend because im popular and whos my friend because they actually like me for who i am.

L: But standing up for people and giving them the voice that they need would make it easier for you to see who your real friends are and who the fake ones are. What made you change anyway, you know from the bullied to the bully??

C: idk in 8th grade i just stopped caring what people said about me, and whenever they said something bad about me i would come up with something 10x worse to shoot back at them and eventually people stopped making fun of me and started praising me. freshman year started off a little bumpy but i still pretended to be an ass and now im like one of the top bitches, i kinda miss being a nobody tho bc no one really payed attention to what you were doing they just shoved you into lockers and made fun of you for no reason. when youre popular it feels like everyone is waiting for you to mess up so they can point out every one of your insecurities and find excuses to make you feel like complete SHIT. sure giving the voiceless a voice would be awesome or whatever but that means i have to be ready for all the shit ppl are gonna say about me and im not ready for that.... yet

L: Well maybe one day when you get your head out of your ass you'll be able to give the voiceless their voice and they'll learn to stand up for themselves so you don't have to. Well it's 12:19 and you have school tomorrow so go to sleep loser ☺️ gnite loser

C: 😒 yeah yeah yeah whatever goodnight