Motherfreaking Disney.
Like what the actual frick?
Disney is almost always soooo perfect. It's teaching the girls of tomorrow that boys are always gonna be there. Excuse me while I slit my wrists.
On the contrary, I love Disney... To an extent. It was all good until about, maybe after Brave. But who am I kidding Brave was shit. What does bears have to do with anything. Freaking bears... I used to love bears...
Anyway, after brave it kinda went downhill. Tangled? Yeah, no. Why in the hell would I want to see a psychologically challenged hag chase some 40 year old virgin and her wanna be boyfriend all over I don't even know where. Where were they? ... France?.... Germany... Finla- fuck it.
But please, please go pray to Jesus, to Budda, to all of your gods and ask them, why would Disney even try to screw up Rapunzel. Why did I pay actual money, like real life, came from the bank on Wall Street money, to go see that garbage. Like I truly believe that Disney took Rapunzel and just forced her to live in the dumpster outside of Walt Disney studios for like, 2 and a half years and then asked her what she came up with.
Of course she's gonna say, "Shit."
How do you think she survived... If you get what I mean- never mind.
Let's skip a couple of Disney screw ups and get right to Into the Woods.
What kind of crack were these producers on? Please ask if I can get some because, judging by the movie, it's some good shit.
I love Meryl and let's be honest, she did the best with what she had. What was up with those beans. Beans are meant to be harvested, canned, boiled, planted, cooked, seasoned, added to, and eaten. Where in that list does it say that there were supposed to be wreaking havoc or a portal way for Giants to climb.
To be quite frank, I am 2030% sure that witches aren't real.... Hogwarts; duly noted.
I loved the songs but a lot of the time, they were just used for either just an excuse to sing (it would just be like a description of something or just plain talking) or just completely for no reason at all.... Agony my ass...
And I was just really confused at the fact that there was five different fairy tales in one movie. Good idea for you to write in that idea book that you never, ever look at. Ever.
And that part with the stepsisters, when they were cutting their feet to fit the shoe got me like 😱🔫 SWEETHEART! YOU AINT CUTE! YO' HAIR UNEVEN! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE GON' WANT YOU?! And to that prince, fuck you.
1) you a dirty, dirty stinky hoe
2) Anna Kendrick can do Wayyyy better
3) shouldn't you remember the 'beautiful maiden' you danced with ALL FREAKIN NIGHT. GOIN 'ROUND TO RANDOM GIRLS HOMES YOU PERVERT
4) YOU ARE FULL OF IT. BY IT I MEAN EVERYTHING THAT OS NASTY AND DEROGATORY TO YOUR REPUTATION
5) I FEEL REALLY STUPID BECAUSE IM YELLING AT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO WILL NEVER KNOW HOW I FEEL
6) I HATE YOU.
7) oh my golly you are fine.
8) I FUVKIN HATE YOU.
*frustrated exhale* I feel much, much better.
The Lion King, and Beauty Beast are now over looked by 6 freakin anime addicts and their marshmallow.
And to Frozen, I'm done.
Good job, Disney.
