Never • The Lost Daughter | A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter 55 - Losing

I was the last one to wake up the next morning. When I went downstairs for breakfast, the Order wanted to hear everything I had to say about what I'd experienced with Voldemort. Many of them listen to the few things I had to say and wanted more.

All I could do was stare at my hands and talk bluntly. It was easier to focus on the black stone on my finger than it was to face everyone's disappointment.

"Isn't there anything else? Maybe some information that you can give us about Voldemort's moves?" asked Professor Lupin.

"I told you everything I heard. Voldemort stayed with use for a few hours every day and nothing more. There is nothing that I heard that can help you. The only thing that might be helpful is that Malfoy informed him about the reform in school. Then Voldemort gave him instructions about all the possible things that could be done so that the Ministry interferes to Hogwarts even more. It doesn't seem that Voldemort is the one behind the reform but I would say that he is definitely trying to make it work for his favour."

"That much we know from Snape! Isn't there something else?" Moody almost shouted in rage.

"I'm sorry, I don't think there is anything else. I guess Voldemort wouldn't let basic information slip in front of his daughter. I wouldn't expect him to climb on my bed, tell me all about his plans and then make my hair and read me a bedtime story..." I said.

"Then this has been all for nought. We sent you right into the wolf's teeth for nothing," said Lupin.

"I've managed to get myself his favour."

"And you've also managed to get yourself a very nice scar and a long torture. We don't blame you, but it's just too dangerous for us to send you back," said Sirius.

"I want to help in any way I can," I answered at once.

"Maybe we should have let her become a Death Eater."

"I doubt he would discuss his plans with his 15-year-old daughter, Death Eater or not."

There was silence among us and I felt as if I'd failed the Order with the one and only mission they'd given me. Maybe Lupin was right. I had been through all these things for nothing. I hadn't managed to provide the order with any help, maybe I was a failure and an unnecessary risk.

"What does Dumbledore say?" I asked.

"He hasn't," he said. "He hasn't said much about it."

I felt more exposed and naked than in any other moment in my life. The Order, the people who trusted me and protected me with their lives, was now disappointed by my poor performance.

I could only imagine what would happen when I told them I decided to stay with Draco when the time came.

"No one is blaming you, Anne," said Tonks and laid a hand on my shoulder.

It had to be now; it had to come from me.

"I have something more to say." I had the Order's attention and suddenly my heart was racing. "I told Voldemort that I'm going to follow him."

"Well, yes this buys us more time. You could have said nothing but that's very good too, well done." Tonks smiled.

"No, you don't understand," I explained. "I think I will have to stay with the Death Eaters even after Voldemort demands my answer."

"What!" Sirius demanded. 

"I have many things tying me there. I think you all know what I'm talking about. We will find a way for me to be useful. I could spy for you. And if I'm a full Death Eater, I could gain more of Voldemort's trust..."