Mere Jazbaat

Chapter 6: A Confused Ladki and Complicated Man walk into a bar...

That evening at the Khan residence there was no laughter. No smiling. No shayaris were recited. No jokes were exchanged. No one ate at the dining table, as they always did. Instead all were in their respective rooms, consumed by the now silent home. The only sound echoing throughout the massive house, was that of tears. Zoya's tears, Dilshad's tears, Najma's tears, and... Asad's tears. Yes. Asad Ahmed Khan was crying.

If she hadn't been there, if she hadn't tried to go... for me... I didn't want to yell at her.. but it's my fault. Yes. I can't... I can't see someone do that to her. But Ammi... Asad's thoughts ran wild as his eyes moistened. His anger resurfaced as he thought of his Ammi and how she'd been insulted. No. It is her fault. Even if she didn't poison Humeira. It happened. Someone wanted it to. And because Ms. Farooqui gave them the chance to blame someone, that... witch... she took advantage and blamed us... US! ARGGH!!!

Asad decided thinking about this over and over again would be useless. He decided he'd close his eyes and think of nothing for a while. Maybe he had gone too far, but he wanted to think about it when he wasn't blowing a fuse.

He didn't realize when he fell asleep. All he could see in his dreams was Zoya. Zoya being slapped, Zoya being humiliated, Zoya crying. And Asad standing there, quiet, stiff, helpless. Zoya walked over to him, crying, holding her left cheek. And all he did was stare. She turned away from him slowly, and started walking. Further and further from him, until she was disappearing into a black abyss.

"ZOYA!"

Asad woke up sweating. He checked the clock on his nightstand. It was still early in the evening. He must have dozed off. *sigh* I know I was rude. I know I crossed the line with her. But... It IS her fault. And for that I will not apologize. But... that dream... why did I see her getting slapped? Maybe... I was remembering when I- NO. That was a mistake.

He got up and out of bed, and headed to the kitchen. He opened a cupboard door, took out a glass and filled it with water. He started walking back to his room, when he noticed Zoya's room light was still on.

* * * * * * *

Zoya scribbled furiously. She had finished a letter for Phoopi, one for Najma, even one for Tanveer, albeit short. All that was left, was Mr. Khan. But everything she wrote was either too nice (which he didn't deserve) or too mushy (which he sure as hell didn't deserve). There were crumpled pieces of paper all over her room, with tear stains and smudged ink.

"Allah Miyan! Why am I even bothering to write him a letter? He has no respect for me. He doesn't care about me. Yes. That's it. I won't write him a letter. All those feelings, all the moments we shared. The memories are enough. For me at least. I don't want to talk to him ever again. I don't know why I let him insult me so many times. I know he's been hurt when he was younger. I know he doesn't trust people easily. I know he gets mad at those who he cares about, or so Tanveer made me believe. But... to demean me? To insult me? I... That woman doing it was bad enough. To the point where she..."

And like many times before that night, Zoya once more felt the waterworks coming on. Every time she had calmed herself down, something would remind her of Mr. Khan's stinging words, and the lump in her throat would come back, along with enough tears to fill the Ganges.

She decided she needed some fresh air to stop herself from crying again. She only had so many precious moments left in this house, she wanted to spend them in her favourite spot: the garden. She hopped off the bed and groaned at the pile of crumpled pages. She proceeded to pick them all up and dump them in the trash can. She slipped her fluffy flip flops on and slowly made her way to her room door.

* * * * * * *

Asad stared at her door for a few moments. Did I really go that far, that she felt compelled to slap me? Is that why I saw her being slapped in my dream? ARGH! I'm so confused! She drives me mad! But... Ammi.

"No. Ammi comes first. And today because of her childish ways and lack of common sense this happened. She will never learn the value of family relationships. Even after living with us for a few months, it hasn't sunk in. Otherwise, she wouldn't have done this," he thought outloud.

* * * * * * *

Zoya heard Asad's voice just as she put her hand on the door knob. She felt a shiver down her spine. Her eyes welled up as she heard him add insult to injury. "Once was not enough, was it Mr. Khan?" she said to herself quietly.

She opened the door and decided that, indeed, he did not deserve a letter. But she had a right to explain herself once before she left. She didn't want his apology. She was beyond that. This man always did this and she would always let it go, because she had seen a gradual change in him. But this time... he simply had gone too far. And as much as she wanted to stay with Phoopi and Najma, she couldn't look them in the eyes after today's disastrous events.

She walked out of her room and stood in the hallway with her back to the door.