park bench » vkook

4

I spend Tuesday in an unusually anxious mood, even for me. I'm worried that the boy-Taehyung- will come into the bookstore again, waving the poems in my face and maybe rip them in half out of spite or something equally petty. I hate my imagination.

But he doesn't appear, and by the time I realize that he's not going to, I begin to relax. Which is a shame, because by then I was getting into my car and driving home.

Waiting for me in the living room is a grinning Hoseok. I look at him suspiciously; something about the way he's sitting upright on the couch without the TV on screams sketchy.

"What?" I ask, throwing my bag to the floor next to the little table. Hoseok's unnerving smile makes way for his outburst of words.

"The dance class went great! The instructor, Jimin, said I was really good and he offered to hire me as an assistant instructor! He's pretty cute." Hoseok sighed. "I think he has a boyfriend, though."

"Um," I say, still standing in the middle of the living room, trying to process Hoseok's spew of word vomit. "So you're gonna get a job?"

"Yes! Isn't it great?" Hoseok spreads his arms wide and falls back into the couch cushions. I sit next to him and mutter, "You have no idea." He doesn't appear to hear me and continues to rant about his new job and admiration for the instructor's smile.

"Speaking of adorable," I interrupt, "the park boy came into the bookstore yesterday."

"Jimin's family name is Park," Hoseok muses absently.

"Hoseok, please."

"Sorry, sorry. Did you embarrass yourself?" 

I ignore his suspiciously eager tone and tell him everything.

"I think he was flirting with you," Hoseok says with utter conviction after I'm done speaking.

"No, he wasn't!" I protest. Hoseok just winks at me and goes to his room, leaving me on the couch, steeped in confusion. He couldn't have been flirting with me; no one in their right mind would do that. Especially not Taehyung. My mind decides to flash back to the way he smiled at the little girls. 

He's like a drug.

Your eyes, smile, hair, voice.

Spiderwebs.

My mind, thoughts,

getting tangled in the threads.

I think about you as if

my brain is my lungs

and you are my oxygen.

I drive to the park, hoping that he's there. I don't know why; maybe speaking with him has only sparked my fascination with him. When I arrive, I take a moment to breathe in the clean air. Usually, it would empty my mind, and the only thing that floats my behind my eyelids is Taehyung's face.

I am so screwed.

I follow the paths to the back of the park, keeping my head down and avoiding eye contact. Tonight is unusually busy, and I start to sweat, clutching my notebook to my chest like a shield. I relax a little more as I near the pond; the people have thinned out. No one sits at my picnic table or Taehyung's bench, although a few kids sit by the pond. I sit down at the table and stare at the long cracks in the wood.

I wonder what Taehyung is doing; if he's thought of me at all. It's not likely, but I allow myself to imagine for a moment that he's as infatuated with me as I am with him. It's a golden moment that soon turns into a daydream I really shouldn't allow myself to entertain. I stand, heartbeat racing as I drop the paper on Taehyung's bench. I hope to God that the kids by the pond weren't watching me and turn to leave. The only trace I leave behind is the poem, folded in half, with the words For Taehyung facing the sky.

How many times has that sky seen a story like mine? How many times does it take for my life to be a repeat of someone else's?

I shake my head and drive home, leaving my thoughts on the road, in danger of the tires of uncaring people.

~~~

"It's a Code Pink!" I yell as I throw open the door. "Do you ever leave your apartment?" I proceed to mutter as the old woman bangs her cane against the wall. It's not a proper shout until she chimes in. Between the three of us(me, her, and Hoseok), it's a wonder we haven't gotten a noise complaint yet. I go into the kitchen and make myself some ramen, and as I slurp the noodles, Hoseok sprints into the room. Concern decorates his features.

"Your hope is here to make you stop thinking!" He announces, swinging the brim of his snapback around. I snort at his self-appointed nickname.

"Why do you wear hats indoors?" I ask through a mouthful of food.

"Your job is to just relax," he grins. Code Pink is something we made up when we first moved in together, a few years ago. If someone announces Code Pink, it means that they're feeling upset, and it becomes the other person's job to cheer them up. So Hoseok leads me to the couch, grabs a few blankets, and puts on a comedy movie. He lets me snuggle up close to him, putting an arm around my shoulders, and adds his own commentary to the film. It's enough to make me laugh until I cry, and by the time I've finished my noodles and started to get slightly sweaty under the blankets, I begin to feel better. The thoughts that followed me out of the park don't show signs of reappearing, which is a relief. If I don't stop them, they'll keep coming until I can't breathe and refuse to leave my room.

I always feel guilty when that happens, because Hoseok tries his best to cheer me up, but at the hibernation point, nothing works. I just wait it out. Lately though, I've been learning how to control my mind, and if all else fails, I can always count on Hoseok and his Code Pink plans to pull me out of a slump before it begins. 

As the credits roll, I thank Hoseok. He shows me a rare display of kindness as he disposes of my ramen cup for me, then asks, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I reply. "Tell me more about your dance class instead."

Watching Hoseok's face light up as he babbles about his new obsession makes me forget about Taehyung, if only for a few minutes. But it's a welcome reprieve, and I listen to Hoseok carefully, loving how he uses his whole face and hand gestures to talk. 

However, after Hoseok falls silent, Taehyung fills the space the quietness has created. I sigh and go to my room, placing my headphones over my ears in a last-ditch attempt to block the park bench boy from my thoughts.

-

a/n: i posted a plot shop, in case any of you want some ideas for stories! bc i have way too many already smh

i'm going to my grandma's for five days, and she doesn't have wifi, and i'm close to my data limit, so idk if i'll update at all but oh well