The Realms [Watty 2017 Shortlist]

A Promise - Part 21

            I stare at my ceiling, willing myself to sleep. Ryan noticed my altered mood almost immediately, but he thought I was feeling anxious about our developing plan. Just as the Time Keeper promised, our brief moment out of time was unnoticed by everyone else.

             I turn over onto my side and catch glimpses of the night sky through my bedroom curtains. I'm empty. After lifetimes of feeling either anger, love or some strange concoction between the two, I can't believe that all of that will be gone within a week. For not the first time I wonder whether I should heed Mason's advice and just leave well enough alone. Although everyone else might be worse off, I will have Ryan to myself for all of eternity. 

             The worst part of all of this is that we were so close to having a future together on the Third Realm. If I'd held myself together a little longer, we'd be living a life I would give anything for now. The words I spoke to Ryan's father that night changed the course of everyone's lives, and I can't go back. Maizie was right in the end; we aren't going to be able to recapture what's lost. I drift to sleep, thinking of Ryan.

               Heat moves over my chest in a rush, a fire is raging. I try to cling to the feeling in my dream. It's like a warning--but of what?

               I start awake at a light tap on my window. My heart pumps with uncertainty, still caught between sleep and reality. Swinging the covers off and pushing my feet out of the bed, I tentatively approach the window and move the curtain back. Standing outside my window is Ryan, and I am grateful once again for my ground floor room. I slide up the window sill. I can't conceal my smile or my surprise. It's three in the morning.

                "What are you doing here?" I check my watch again in the dim light from the night sky, sure that I must still be dreaming.

                 "Can I come in?"

                  My heart kicks. I move back to let him slip over the window sill. He draws me immediately into a hug that is a little too tight. 

                 "Is something wrong? What's wrong? Did something happen?" I ask, my mind lingering on my dream.

                  "I had the worst dream and I couldn't shake this bad feeling. I had to see you."

                  There is a slither up my spine. Is it safe to ask what he dreamed about or to wonder who sent him the dream in the first place? "The dream was about me?"

                  "I don't even know why I called it a dream. It was definitely a nightmare. I can't remember any of the details really, just this scorching heat, which is weird. But, I woke up in a cold sweat and I couldn't breathe...I couldn't breathe and I had this overwhelming feeling that I lost you. That you were gone." He strokes my hair and squeezes me closer still. "I had to come."

                  On my tiptoes, I bury my face in his neck, allowing his presence to comfort me as well. I run my hands over his back and up into his hair, committing the feel of him to a memory I'm not sure I'll be able to keep. I want to tell him that he'll never lose me, that he is stuck with me forever, but I can't tell more lies. 

                 "Oh, Ryan." The glimpse of the desperation and despair that covers his face is almost enough to make me regret the deal I made, the sacrifice I'm making for the realms. I don't know if what I'm going to do makes me a better or worse person. 

                   Avoiding his gaze, I shift away and take his hand to lead him over to my bed. I pull his black shirt off over his head and take in the sight of his chest and shoulders. Somehow, I find the courage to meet his gaze. I hope that the love I feel shines as clearly from me as it does from him. I need to say so much, so much more than I can ever say.