The Last Philosopher

Richard, long for Dick

The Darkness of nothing was creeping into the first universe, a lot like the nothing always creeping under a child's bed. Except on a somewhat larger and less terrifying scale. Darkness with a capital D.

In an isolated corner, a displaced black hole — orbiting the edge of an odd galaxy — was spinning out of control from the force of its own outrage. Richard, long for Dick, was furious at the goings-on in what the all-consuming Afreet considered to be its galaxy.
Beings like this black hole shouldn't be possible. Even so, in the senile dimensions of the multiverse, every oddity that can occur has already occurred. And the race of demi-gods were here to prove that fact.

"That stinky blue ball Huom is to blame!" Dick shouted into the emptiness of space where no one heard it howl.

For a change, the puritanical black hole was almost correct. Because as much as a cluster of stars can belong to anything, this galaxy belonged to the planet Huom. Once upon a time, back when time was sill a fresh new idea, this planet had been the first living being. The original Afreet and sole inhabitant of the galaxy that Dick was now orbiting.

It wasn't until much later that Dick's singularity penetrated the cosmos. Not that it was grateful for the gift of life. No, it'd be more correct to say the black hole was disgusted at everything in particular. This was in large part due to the fact that even after Huom's death, the planet and its galaxy have never fallen in line with proper astronomic behaviour. To be precise, no part of this elderly universe had ever acted its age.

Since being forced onto the physical plane, as a balance of power, Dick has been a pawn in its master's proxy war. But at least in this it hadn't been alone. Because in the first age, both demi-gods had taken metaphysical marching orders from the divine. Since Afreets were the ground troops of the conceptual plane and expected to do their gruntwork. That was also why it'd never occurred to Dick's master to tell the black hole, that its task was over eons ago. Instead it'd been left to ponder what it called 'The Great Question'. One of the most selfish queries ever asked.

"Why am I not in the centre of this galaxy! All the stars should be shining their favour on me! Sure, I might devour a few of them, like a handful of salted peanuts, but that is my right as their SUPERIOR!"

This question only served to make it more confused, a problematic state for a control freak of galactic proportions. Of course, Richard had always struggled to maintain a sane perspective. Perhaps not surprising since its ego was so astronomically large, not even light could escape. Suffering through the ages hadn't helped either. Time only led it to develop a wide range of toxic, black little feelings. As one might guess, Dick could not be described as a happy black hole.

From its dark perspective, its ego was attending a never-ending garden party. And while the bottomless void claimed to enjoy the dark, it wasn't pleased with getting seated so far from the twinkling stars.
Sure, a few beams of light got dragged into its ego-horizon. But overall, it was left alone in the black. Where there was no one to listen to its monstrously self-centred opinions. Picturing this scene, one could feel what Richard has felt, for longer than anything should be forced to live.

At the centre of the galaxy, Huom had become Dick's hated, blue-green planet. Largely covered in water, even after its death, the surface teemed with life other than itself. Rocks were the first to take advantage of these conditions. Evolving into life from the surviving cells of its single eye.

In time lots of races came into being, using life as an excuse to invent all kinds of beliefs and ideas. The sort of things that conceptual forces both coveted and considered problematic. Since to them, life has always been seen as an unpleasant success.

However, that still couldn't explain all the strangeness in this universe. Because while being statistically unlikely, life was also pretty inconsequential. Consisting of activities that formed nice, comfy routines. Not that mortals have ever understood their own uselessness. Because most saw themselves as the pinnacle of genius in an otherwise dreary existence.

Unknown to Dick, there were forces in creation, and destruction, more powerful than undead gods or bitter black holes. Most of these forces were suspicious of life, and one of them had put things in the opposite of motion. Then, as they tend to do, things had changed. This time for the worst. But from Dick's perspective, it was something to look forward to. A proverbial Darkness at the end of the tunnel of horrid Light.

"Huom will finally Darken and with it all the little lights. Not even She can save them now!" Dick gloated, spewing out radiation in excitement.

Something on Huom was going to have caused rips in the fabric of reality. This was only possible because not everything was affected by time, and tenses don't apply everywhere. So, cracks had, were, and would continue to bleed Darkness into Huom's universe.

At first glance, a case could be made for Huom being as insignificant as the life crawling on its surface. Seeing as what set it apart was difficult to spot without an exceptional view of the big picture. The planet wasn't just the centre of its galaxy and universe, but also the multiverse. Which could make it the centre of everything... and perhaps even nothing.

The reason for all these unusual circumstances, was that this universe ran on forces much stronger than gravity. Imagination and Ignorance. It was also why an old sorcerer would come to dread his dreams of Darkness.

Updated: 01.06.2024